Piloco

Despite warnings from the Department of Health and the EcoWaste Coalition, Pinoys insist on endangering their lives and limbs every New Year's Eve.

Mediators aren't always successful, too, despite their good intention. They also require goodwill from disputants.

Crushmuch Truce

Revelling on the holiday truce from politics, we were rudely reminded of its end by the Supreme Court's TRO on the Comelec's disqualification of Grace Poe. Of course, the latter took the opportunity to step up on the plate.

The cartoon Sherman's Lagoon's mayoralty loser take on this: "I tried to run an honest campaign, stick with the issues, and not get personal." To which the mayor retorted, "None of which belongs in politics." The loser has to "live and learn."

Mediation has, too.

Ninas Inocentes

Misses Colombia and the Philippines had an early reenactment of a worldly version of Holy Innocents during the last Miss Universe pageant. One woman's dream of the crown was killed in two minutes, as was another's nightmare of a defeat.

Meanwhile, young Filipino men and women have taken a boat to China's claimed island on the West Philippine Sea. As was joked that Ms. Philippines could also be claimed by China to be their own, (@siksikat/Twitter) these ninos and ninas hopefully won't suffer the same jest.

Unfortunately, China is not open to arbitration, on their claim on the island, that is.

Same Old

Some things never change. Recently, there was a photo of a Palestinian slingshot protester, a la David of old.

However, there have been new developments in conflict resolution, thank Yaweh!

Fair Tale

Even fairy tales have a message or two for you. Cinderella was on yesterday and spoke of courage and kindness, as well as forgiveness. It depicted "what could be, not just what is." And perhaps, good karma?

So is mediation.

Naivete Season

Christmas afternoon, was getting ready for a nap when E started showing the Kardashians nonstop. Whoa! Couldn't resist following the development of the Lamar and Bruce relationships with their respective "Dash Doll," among the other characters.  Aren't they all?

Likewise, mediation is hopefully the last phase in the development of a conflict.

Beast of Cesar

After Cablelink rechanneled Nat Geo way at the end, it was a pleasant surprise to see Cesar Millan dog whispering again in "The Best of Cesar." One episode featured some traumatized bite victims. One needed to overcome his phobia as it was getting into his job as swimming pool maintenance. Another wanted to gather the guts to attend her sister' wedding, when the bride's dog will be ring-bearer!

People go to mediation for a lot of reasons, too, but basic is the need to get out of conflict pronto.

E-razing Memory

This is like voluntary, emotional Alzheimers. NatGeo's Breakthrough featured research on erasing the pain associated with some experiences.

Perhaps Miss Colombia would like to try this, after the recent Miss Universe booboo. But first, she herself has to let go of its trappings, like her internet picture with the sash.

Mediation alleviates pain, too by declaring a truce on blaming, name- calling, and shout-outing while facilitating a search for conflict resolution.

APECops

Pardon the comparison, but in the Old West, riders took care of giving water to their horses before anything else. PNP Chief Ricardo Marquez attended to subordinates' board and lodging, too during the recent APEC conference. That might have helped them perform their duties well.

That is proactive prevention of the need for mediation. Pardon the redundance.

Christmas Blues

Mc Donald's has come up with smooth interpersonal ads to promote its cheeseburger. One  young woman looking for a long-lost godfather and a young man complaining to a karaoke- addicted neighbor express their problem humorously.

Such is a good way of communication in mediation, too.

Human Tripod

That's how they describe a photographer in "The Millers" sitcom, after the news reporter had his pirated and hence resorted to a stationary tripod instead. Of course, he couldn't converse, eat, and watch ball games with the tripod.

A lot of mechanical devices may replace people, but they definitely fall short when it comes to authentic human inter-action. For resulting conflicts, though, mediation comes into the picture.

Boiling Over

In today's Inquirer, Fr. Jerry Orbos' column had this quote that "the same boiling water that softens the potato also hardens the egg." Life is how one reacts to it.

Mediation sees a lot of hard-boiled eggs, indeed!

Icy Castles

The sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns are a refreshing way to spend lazy afternoons. In one episode, good-natured Raymond sneaked on wife Debra's alone time at home and from the window, saw her weeping! Alarmed, he confronted her and found out she was just enjoying listening to her favorite song, the theme from "Ice Castles." One time, Raymond tried listening to the same tune, to no  effect.

Gender bias comes from insensitivity to gender differences, as mediation all to often brings out.

Velasco Orlina

That is no choice but a collaboration that soared the artistic skies. As featured in GMA News TV, the Velasco family of the former Energy Minister of Marcos had a glass factory, in which Orlina would help himself with its scraps. Talk of recycling with glass class!

Mediation likewise picks up the pieces of broken relationships at home, office, community, country and the world.

Anita Ho

DIVA's feature was not about Anita Magsaysay-Ho, renowned Filipino painter, but rather a Chinese woman who got engaged to a Korean. Did she get it from her kin! So with her Korean fiance. The couple felt like they were against all their dinner guests!

Racial as well as social discrimination knows no bounds. Perhaps the mediator could work hand in hand with the matchmaker.

Hotel Babel

Being a former hotel HR Manager, I was delighted to come across the Hotel Babylon series on British cable tv. Here, familiar issues are tackled- employee vs. guest, guest vs. guest, management vs staff, management & staff, management & guest...

Human Resources has always been in the mediation profession, too.

Democratizing Dinner

True to their liberty, equality and fraternity ideals, leave it to the French chefs  to serve fine dining cuisine at a train station one day.

Mediation is democratizing justice, too.

Connecting the Gowns

"Gowns of the same feather flock together" seems to hold true in show biz. GMA7 talent Yaya Dub had for stylist Liz Uy who, of course is more associated with ABS-CBN. Hence, the charges of being dressed shabbily, as in used clothing.

As in mediation, beware of the company you keep.

Businessmen A- betting

What a difference a dash makes! As it is, this Inquirer headline reported on leaders of business putting their money on different candidates this election 2016.

Remove that dash, and these businessmen are in trouble with the law!

The Millers

Another family sitcom has elder characters this time. Problems now are about divorce, career, and aging.

Family mediation is indeed from womb to tomb.

The Middle

This sitcom is the dysfunctional updated version of the 50's "Father Knows Best." This time, the Hecks (!)  gather around to solve their daily troubles.

Perhaps, it is a more realistic portrayal of this basic unit of society, more open to exposing its vulnerability and keeping up with the times. But as always, mediation starts with compromises at home.

Monumental Challenge

In a docu Multi-Mental Challenge on the Big Ben, engineers worked on the bell, building, and even the birds that crash on it. What a precise symphony!

Mediation is likewise a joint effort among the mediator, the disputants and other concerned parties.

Mon Terror

Like Paris, Metro Manila is also in fear of a terrorist called Montero. This is the Mitsubishi sports utility vehicle that has 97 cases of sudden unintended acceleration.
Mitsubishi of course denies wrongdoing and technical malfunction. Victims and the Department of Trade and Industry are for product recall, among other things.

Truly, a third party technical group is needed to settle this deadly dispute.

Chinese Mediation

Singapore was reported to be offering to mediate between Taiwan and Mainland China. It is to be noted that these three countries are of Chinese descent.

Sometimes, families can settle their differences, after falling into disagreements.

Corny Ito

The Cornetto series of ads is so light to the eyes, mind and heart. Its message is affordability.

So is mediation.

A Mother's Will

This was the theme of a DIVA movie that featured a mother's ten-year search for her kidnapped daughter. She was smart as well as persistent, drawing from her career of photography. She took pictures of schoolchildren and while doing so, would engage girl subjects in conversation. Finally, maternal instinct drew her close to her long-lost daughter.

In like manner, there is only so much that a mediator can do. The disputants have the solution in their hands.

Fact Checking

The onset of election season is one reason for fact-checking.  However, it could also be open to treason, leading to some fat check-ing.

Mediation is also into fact-checking, but not fat check-ing.

Crooked Hearts

This movie on AMC depicted a family in conflict, symbolically called the Warrens. Despite the father's usual practice of toasting their milestones, he kept a stash of old love letters from someone else. The eldest son burned down their house, saving those letters only. Later, while the two younger sons burned the letters, one of them  was hit by a passing vehicle as the fire scattered. In the end, this son's list of his rules on life was given an additional "Forgive."

Most, if not all families have these twists and turns, in varying degrees of intensity. All have to forgive too for the wars to end.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

This movie was like Downton Abbey's excursion to India. Common actors in updated clothes met the still stringent social mores of the East. This time, twas the Brits who told the bachelor hotel owner to "step up and beside" his girfriend whose family didn't approve of him.

There is universality of issus in mediation.

Yours, Mine and Ours

Watched this remake on Star Movies regarding former HS Prom King and Queen getting married years and their respective children later. Expect trouble from the joint brood of the Admiral and a free spirit.

Like sides to a dispute.

Garage Sale Mystery

Diva featured this insightful movie on the perils of selling old stuff to neighbors. It is consoling, too that ours is not the only crime-infested city where thieves can pose as buyers.

While we are called to live our neighbors, reality dictates we take precaution, too.

Cold War Mediator

Among his roles was a reluctant mobster in "Road to Perdition." Recently, however, Tom Hanks played an international mediator between US and Russia over their exchange of captives. From guns to goodwill.

Mediation champions the same evolution.

Last 90 Minutes

Because Robin Williams played "The Angriest Man in Brooklyn," his doctor he kept badgering said he had only 90 minutes to live. What did he do? Make amends with his wife and son, mainly.

Mediation makes us do those things even before our time is up.

Shcariest Campfire Shtory

That's from (a) Mutts' point of view. Indeed, non-human beings suffer "loss of habitat, bait for bears, and leg traps."

Like in mediation, it pays to look at the other side of the story.

Living Cemeteries

Aside from families, mostly of plot caretakers inhabiting cemetery grounds, other living beings have sprouted in one such in Nueva Ecija. A vegetable garden has been producing fresh produce for the community.

More than property or pesos, the departed have again provided for their relatives.

Public Perception

When Downton Abbey was opened to the public for visits, a young boy wandered into the master bedroom. When the staff raised a fuss, the ailing lord of the manor calmed him down with this assessment, "He was more of a philosopher than a thief."

Too easily, we typecast persons especially economically. But taxi drivers have shown honesty more than our honorable legislators.

No Reservations

This show of Anthony Bourdain presents food all over the place, sometimes not on plates. Tonight's venue was the former battleground of Kurdastan.

In mediation, there has to be communication without reservation, too.

Fireflies in the Garden

Ryan Reynolds and Julia Roberts starred in this heart-wrenching movie about a son verbally abused by his professor father. The theme was summarized in this quote,
"If you don't take care of something, you don't deserve to have it."

This goes for relationships as well as material possessions. Private owners and the government, for instance have to be faulted for their lack of vigilance that leads to informal settlements everywhere in the country. Then the Pope and APEC come and everyone gets concerned for a while.

Murder Mantra

The producers of Grey's Anatomy have evolved into the creators of  How to Get Away with Murder. From the life-saving surgeons, characters now are the analysts of life-enders. Their woman head constantly reminds them to "trust no one."

On the contrary, in mediation, disputants are encouraged to begin trusting each other again.

Advice to Tourists

On E's show Top 5 Philippines, a foreigner gave tips on how to get along in Manila. "Smile, say sorry, and drink tequila." The first two are highly recommended, for any place. The last one might precisely get you into trouble.

Same goes for mediation.

Select-a Celebration

Always liked the tv ads of Selecta ice cream. This Christmas, they had a brilliant idea. Treat your household helpers!

This could be the start of less labor conflicts at home.

Dating/Tanging Hiling

How wishes change! In a Powerhouse feature on GMA News TV, singer April Boy Regino sang a new composition expressing a desire for health from Above. This was after suffering a series of illnesses, self-inflicted/not that disrupted his career.

Sometimes, reverses in circumstances open disputants to compromises.

Apec Nation

Again, the activists were at their futile attempts at attention-getting. Meantime, a Pinay engineer was on stage with President Obama on her project of saltwater-powered lighting system for the rural areas. Now that is productive protest.

Mediation is another productive way out of conflicts.

Wallace Tick

Peter Wallace's column "Like It Is" featured a win-win on taxation. To compensate for less government income after the proposed lowering of income tax, he suggested "fuel marking, raising VAT but protecting the poor, jailing smugglers, disposing of government property but with informal settlers, and running after Marcos money."

Mr. Wallace could be the tax mediator.

Revolution Road

This movie seems to be a follow-up to Titanic. It stars Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslet as a couple. Issues tackled included infidelity, abortion and househusband- in the 50-60's. Kate dies this time- from the suicidal self-induced abortion.

Marriages still face these crises. Hopefully, couples seek a neutral third party in mediation, other than God!

Mag Menor Ka

Not a driving advice, but a reference to the Iglesia ni Cristo conflict. A church leader, Menor was suspected of having written negative articles in their newsletter under a pen name. For this alleged breach, he was given a hard time, he says.

Allegations and suspicions have no room in mediation. Instead, face-to-face dialogue is encouraged.

By GAD

That stands for Gender and Development, which Philippine academe is continuously   tackling under the Commission of Higher Education (CHED). In an Inquirer article, noted feminist Sr. Mary John Mananzan, OSB, listed the four areas covered by CHED as administration, curriculum, research and extension programs. Basically, there is a move to prevent discrimination and harassment.

Hopefully, this would lessen, if not totally eradicate sexually-related cases brought to mediation.

Thinking with Pen and Paper

This article by Grace Shangkuan Koo in the Inquirer details the English-writing exercise she asks her students to do. Then, she proceeds to lecture on a related psychological theory or principle.  She finds it "quite useful to generate ideas,
map a plan, compose a line and even reflect on life issues."

Drafting a compromise agreement or settlement of the conflict works the same way.

Peace In-Play

"33 Variations" of Beethoven is one sub-plot of this same-titled musical play. The other focuses on the relationship between a musicologist mother and her daughter.
The composer and the mother represent "artistic obsession" against the daughter's "pragmatism of everyday life." She "excels at changing careers,...your own daughter you can't see."

Values and attitudes of parents, let alone their professions are not necessarily inherited by their children. Inquirer columnist of "All in the Family" Queena Lee-Chua knows this too well.

In the genius

Indigenous people have always managed their own  disaster prevention, rescue and relief. Of course, in the Old Testament, God warned Noah. Nowadays, they have to rely on observing nature, starting from reaction of animals. They also share among themselves all year round, so one tribe was pleasantly surprised to have been reached by an NGO after a calamity. They seemed to have no need for them.

Men are basically good, one belief goes. For the rest, there is mediation.

Woe Man

Facebook find: WOMAN- "Think like a man, act like a lady, look like a young girl, and work like a horse" then, you'd be okay.

To counter male chauvinism, laws are enacted to safeguard women and children against abuse and violence. Mediation empowers them, too.

Not my Fault

Khloe Kardashian kept repeating this phrase while the SUV she was driving for family members was spinning in the snow of the winter resort they were just
leaving.

Accidents always are a toss- up among human error, technical problem, or force of nature. Mediation deals with them, too, in looking for solutions to conflicts.

By Gosh, Groban

Josh Groban is a classical singer of the millenials. In one docu, he admitted that he is too young to sing "Send in the Clowns" as he is too old for "Oliver!" That is credibility for you.

So in mediation. We can start by acting our age.

Garfield's Tact

John was planning to give something to Garfield's vet, Liz. "A wrinkle cream holiday gift set!" Garfield's prediction on John, "You're going to be a lonely, lonely old man."

Fights have ensued on such "minor" issues which could be major for some.

"My Lucky Elephant" Owner

Fox Family Movies had this feature on Thai elephants who painted. Of course, the family cashed in on it, gradually moving from low rates to bidding! But naturally elephants want to have a family so off the pair went back to the forest. Their boy caretaker, bless him, let them go.

Sometimes, there are lesser conflict when values are closer to the ground.

Electricity

FB's Laughing Colors compares it to wives. They, too have to be handled with care so they can light up your life (and lighten it, we add). Mis(man)handled, they can give you the shock of your life. Feminism has raised the awareness of women on their rights. For the others, there is mediation.

Anti-Annulment

Bo Sanchez gave some tips to avoid the travails of marriage. He suggested that couples be consistent, converse, laugh and say sorry.

That would be bad news for mediators.

Kids Complicated

Kindergarten Cop's rerun had some timely reflection. Practising the Gettysburg Address, the kids mistook "forefathers" for four fathers! Perhaps, some of the
children may really have at least two fathers- one biological, one step, or trans?

Family Mediation is getting more interesting.

Hacking System

Nat Geo did not show ways to intrude into restricted territory. It just presented "alternatives". One example was getting an upgrade on a flight or even just into
the first class/business lounge at the airport. Tip was to be humble, admit why
you want so, and not feel entitled. A video clip proved that to ask a co- traveler
if he could bring someone into the lounge who had never been there and so was
curious how it looked, was successful.

Openness and non-entitlement are likewise elements of successful conflict resolution.

Neuroplasticity

Not a term for insincerity, but rather the brain's slow adaptation to the changing environment. Nat Geo conducted visual experiments such as staring on an object, which persists even if already out of the picture. Perspective can be adapted in mediation. Viewed after some time and space from the original situation, hurt and pain can now be discussed objectively toward a fruitful settlement of the dispute.

Cheerleading

Nat Geo featured an experiment on positive thinking. Individuals were asked to shoot basketballs sighted and then blindfolded. For the second phase, an audience clapped or not, regardless of the shooter's performance. Of course, those whose performance was reinforced by clapping, did better later on. This also works with the disputants' crafting of their own conflict resolution. While advices are a no-no, a little encouragement as well as pointing out good behavior such as control over temper surely help.

American Idioms

History cable network traced their beginnings. "Assassin," for instance, comes from "hashish," which, under its influence, drove fanatics-for-hire to their dark goals.

Things have not changed much. Drugs still lead to a life of crime, making them aggravating circumstances. Rehabilitation is their form of intervention, more than mediation.

Subtexts

The Affair watchaton on Rtl Entertainment CBS detailed its start between a novelist and a small-town waitress who saved his choking daughter. Later on, he claimed "boredom" with his wife, who retorted, "not to take that personally."

As one of the most intimate relationships, marriage can be marred by not paying attention to the fine print. Then, mediation can be availed of.

Terminal Cases

"The Terminal" movie with Tom Hanks had a timely rerun, especially in the light of current irregularities at the NAIA. One good thing that happened to Tom Hanks' character, though, was his being able to translate for a fellow foreigner also in trouble with the airport customs authority.

In life, wherever we may be, there is always an occasion to be of help to others. Mediation is one of them.

Silence

B. C. defines it as "the logical conclusion of politically correct speech."

Lkewise, peace is the effect of a well-crafted conflict resolution.

Alam mo din?

Now comes the wife of George Clooney, Amal Alamuddin pleading before the United Nations for the human rights of former Philippine President Gloria Arroyo, the latest in the series of advocacies of the international lawyer for suspicious leaders.

Does she know the human rights violations during Arroyo's administration, not to mention the corruption charges, too, which could be why she can afford A Mal's fee?

Thinspiration

As you might have guessed, this was a feature of DIVA channel on anorexia. Code name was Ana. This site goaded visitors to lose more weight by destroying their self-worth, depending only on their physical appearance- and the site.

On the other hand, mediation empowers disputants to the amicable resolution of their conflict, so that next time, they would know what to do, relying on their own resources.

Price of Spice

History channel narrated the Dutch colonization of Batavia (now called Jakarta), up to its canals patterned after Amsterdam. It also became the hub for all the products of the surrounding, different colonies. And their values then! It is said that nutmeg was worth a year's supply of bread!!! Value is also a delicate matter in mediation- reputation, prestige, family tradition, sentimental value...

Slamming the Slam

Nat Geo conducted a series of experiments on people's behavior at the door.  The video showed a tendency to slam it on the next entrant. Next, a mirror was placed
to enable seeing if there is a person behind you. Some positive results. But having a voice reminding you to keep the door open for the next person achieved best results.

So in mediation. It is second nature for disputants to be at each other's throats. They need to be reminded that the best way to deal with their conflict is in a less emotional and more rational way.

Walking the Walk

Being acrophobic, I do not fancy "The Walk" across the Twin Towers on air in my bucket list ever. But I have to hand it to the brave "walker" for all the preparation he made for that feat. He studied wind patterns and other factors. "Many times, I climbed up, disguising as an architect or contruction worker. I climbed to the roof unchallenged. I looked down to get myself used to the height. I listened with all my senses to the murmur of the city, the sirens and the noise. I looked at the lights and really got to know the buildings and much more. I called it my spy work. Eight months in New York to get to know the towers like my family. So if you were following me in all that, you would realize that there was actually no fear in the end. There was no anxiety, not something that I cultivate very much. If you see me before a meeting or an action, if you see me gathering my thoughts, you cannot approach me and say, 'Are you nervous? Are you fearful?'Because if you know me, you would know that I am preparing myself. That is concentration,to try again as a perfectionist to do the best job as possible." Mediators prepare by going through the files of the dispute, if these are available as in court-annexed mediation or the private law office. It is like doctors going over their patients' medical history. If these are not available, like with walk-in clients, mediation starts with orienting both disputants on the ground rules of the procedure so everyone knows what to expect or how to behave.

Sheldon Drives (Them) Crazy

The Big Bang Theory "scicom" is a good show to end the day laughing. In one of their episodes, Sheldon was dragged by his designated driver-friends to get his own license. Reaching the counter, the clerk asks, "Application?" Sheldon replies, "I am realy a theorist." So in mediation, too, disputants have to be on the same page, preferrably of their conflict's settlement.

Door Stoppers

Received this truly reflective text message:"Often, we look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that opened for us."

That is why in mediation, we focus more on ways to resolve the conflict amicably rather than wallow on past hurtful behavior.

Beyond the Red Carpet

Guiliana Rancic has her own E show after all the glitz of the red carpet. G & B is about her life with husband Bill. One especially touching episode was about her difficult pregnancy, which led to other ways to conceive (gestational carrier differentiated from surrogate and in vitro fertilization), then the discovery of her breast cancer during a routine physical exam.

Mediation has seen the human side of celebrities, too. Hopefully, though, it is private and confidential, and not covered by media, as seen in  those much publicized conflicts.

The Furor

History cable channel's feature on Hitler was truly a review of this man's life. It said that he was a World War veteran who bristled that the concluding Treaty of Versailles was unfair to Germany. His anger first targetted France, then the Jews in Germany.  First, he wanted them deported to the East, then Madagascar. But we all know what really happened. Another war ensued, which was described as "opening the door to a dark road." Mediation, on the other hand, engenders light to the conflict at hand.

Gag-dets

Today, am qualified to receive a new phone from my telco server. Not too excited, after Nat Geo warned that perhaps smartphones were meant for stupid people! LOL An older phone gave up on my text messages and is now confined to receiving daily Gospel reflections and being on reserve should I lose the one brought out.

Mediators are likewise amazed how relatively rational human beings and even family members can get into such tight fixes.

Crowd Control and Behavior Change

These were featured by Nat Geo. For instance, one's choice is often determined by the previous choosers, in line with conformity. To encourage the use of the stairs over the escalator, in another test, they painted the steps which produced music once trodded on, as positive reinforcement.

While the mediator cannot advice, s/he can reinforce disputants' goodwill toward each other and the resolution of their conflict.

From the 90's

Nat Geo had an insightful series on the decades past. It featured President Clinton off course.  One analyzed it thus: if you have a leak in the house, you get a plumber to do the job, no matter how his personal life goes.

So with mediation. We do not go about moralizing, when dealing with creditors. We just tackle the dispute at hand by having both sides come to a compromise schedule of payment that is doable.

Humane Dolphin

Did you see the dolphin fishing a dropped phone out of the water and returning it to its owner? Could have been a human diver!

Meantime, mediation sees a lot of beastly behavior of supposedly human beings.

Wishfun Thinking

Last in my comic strip series is my favorite, Garfield. One time, he was claiming that "Fun follows me wherever I go...Hurry up," he coaxes it.

Life is pretty much how we make it to be. Likewise mediation, while may not be fun certainly need not be toture.

By the Looks of it

In the comic strip, Ben wanted to take a picture of his elderly wife who just came out with a book. Being told she "doesn't look very 'authorly,'though", she promptly puts on his jacket with elbow patches plus a pipe."Perfect!" he says. In mediation as well as pretty much everywhere else in life, we have to watch out for a tendency to judge people based on appearance.

S/he says

Baby Blues comic strip had a young  son suggesting his dad get a tattoo to look tough. His mom retorted, not needed. "That's what his 700-hp leaf blower is for."

To each his and her way of expressing needs and wants, mediation brings about.

Going Tru The (Slo) Motion

Mutts gave some Comic Relief, as well as some insight. Mooch listed his To-Do List,
as follows: 1. Sleep in. 2. Nap on sofa. 3. Snooze in sun. Then said, "Nothin' beats the feeling  of accomplishment like checking off your to-do list!"

In contrast, mediation is purposeful and is not like just going through the motion.

You Don't Own Me

At the same time that "Etiquette for Mistresses" was showing, Kiko Machine ran a similar theme in the Comic Relief section of the Inquirer. It depicted friends already in the throes of possession- wanting to literally chain a loved one into a livid one! Then, when the thrill is gone, Etiquette demands the guilty party to pay up for the damage.

In the movie, friends, couturiers, and even the wife tried their hand at mediation. Believe it or not!

(Don't) LoveKnots

This is a comic strip in the Inquirer. Once, it dealt with an issue close to my pocket- pension. It seems its increase is being turned down by Senator Enrile due to non-affordability. Too many pensioners being added a year. The lolo retorts, aren't pensioners dying yearly, too? Those who cannot afford stem cell therapy like Enrile.

In mediation, we have to be wary of reasons put forth by disputants. We have to question if they cover the total picture or just half of it.

Oddvices

Hits also features Happy Days, indeed! Set in the 50's, the male teenager lead asks several persons on how best to deal with his ROTC troop as its commander. His father tells him to make his men happy, the school head suggests being strict, and his friend demonstrates how to just be cool. Unsuccessful after trying out each of the conflicting recommendations a day, the boy gives up his post!

That is the reason behind the ban on advices in mediation. Disputants are to decide how they will resolve their conflict, which will also ensure more chances of it being implemented by them.

Re-view

The Ombusman has called on the Department of Budget and Management to account for its past disbursements. Secretary Abad-man and assistant Relampagos might be made "lampasos."

The mediator is like an ombudsman when it comes to conflicts between individuals, families or groups.

Perchance

Our Gilas (Smart) team to the recent FIBA tournament in Changsha, China ended with their last game versus the host country's team. Of course, like in the West Philippine Sea, they were defeated.

Sometimes, conflict in one area affects another, much like a disease. Family relations, for instance.

Paying the Price

In the comic strip Baby Blues, the father was preparing his young son for the future when "you're going to be part of the problem, or part of the solution." The pragmatic son asks,"Which one pays better?"

We pay the price either way.

Relativity

In the movie "Transamerican Ride," one character remarked that "Beauty is relative; well, not mine." His family could not accept his sex change.

How like Bruce now Caitlyn Jenner! She has now turned mediator between other transgenders especially those in their teens, and their families and friends.

Still At D. Abbey

"Does it get cold in your high moral ground?" Now this is true Downton Abbey conversation between conflicting dowagers over their own community clinic. Mediation sometimes involves good-natured and intentioned individuals with different ways of going about it.

Catch

Hits cable has brought back Cheers to my life. In one episode, someone said, "He's such a catch," to which another retorted, "Oh yeah, so is a bass." There will always be different interpretations of words, more so if people are not on the same page.

Downturn Abbey

Missing Turner Classic Movies in my Cablelink server, I was happy that it featured "Downton Abbey" though. In its recent episode, a young widow of the 1920's had a most modern remark, "Better alone than with a wrong man!" Attitudes have not changed much, as mediation witnesses.

Will The Last Song

Fox Family Movies had a heartwarming feature, "The Last Song." Like "The Last Leaf," it was about a dying man's last opus, which he had his daughter to finish.

What a refreshing change of focus from a dying man's last will!

Top Dog

Jim Henson productions had a follow-up movie after Kermit, Miss Piggy and the gang of Muppets.  An ET dog literally crashed into a neighborhood, and a boy's family home.  Hubble could talk and lead a pack of well-loved neighborhood dogs in yoga and a spin in his spaceship. The only successful dog to run the show!

There have been cases of pet owners leaving their wealth to these four-legged friends It would be interesting to mediate between their owner's relatives and these pets, who could be represented by their vet?

Love Ur Money Scam

Scammers have gone to a lower level in Dante's Inferno.  Love U Honey is their site for lonelyhearts out for a mate.  For a fee, of course, disguised as freight or other expense for supposed gifts. Instead, they should have fright for the Trojan pony.

There's one every mediation session. The fooled, oppressed, or otherwise treated unfairly.

Close Open

This is the seemingly infantile game being played seriously by the Alabangers over one of their village gates. Of course, those living near this gate are against opening it to the public.

Mediation always deals with conflicting interests and needs.

Koreanas

They are a spunky breed. There was a documentary on their grandmothers still diving for seafood. Now, Associated Press' Hyung-jin Kim reports that some nanas are forced to enter the flesh trade, too. Is it Korean feminism or what?

Mediation deals with issues on the elderly, too, swinging from dominance to dependence.

Our Mean Yeah

For a minute there, the Kardashians looked like they were in an episode of "Who do you think you are." The Dash girls went to Armenia to trace their paternal roots. Of course, the locals went crazy, as they greeted their "queen" Kim. In her defense, she caused attention to the genocide of Armenians in the past.

Reminds one of the Desiderata, that everyone has a message to tell. So in mediation. They may surprise you.

Destroyer

2 & 1/2 Men is a witty if not irreverent sitcom. At one point, the frustrated men asked themselves what destroys relationships. Their unanimous answer, women! Of course, they have to admit that they are also the reason for relationships!

Mediation more often than not sees these blame games at play.

His Appointment

Our Daily Bread says that is another way of looking at disappointment.

Mediation takes after the Greatest Mediator, too. No matter how we try, resolution only happens in His time.

Everybody's Fine

That is the title of a poignant Robert de Niro film. It is about a family's habit of sweeping issues under the rug, pretending to be better than they actually are, and otherwise keeping the father out of the loop, as always. His illness brought them and the truth together.

Such is a usual family situation in mediation. Nothing that open communication cannot solve.

Spoilers Alert

The movie about Me and Dupree was an informal course on the pitfalls during the early stage of marriage. Specifically, it dealt with the external causes of such. First, husband's boss is his wife's domineering father, who wanted him to usr his wife's last name, or otherwise get a vasectomy!? Add a bum of a bestman who became their house guest as well as the wife's ally. Aray!!!

Could mar a marriage, depending on the couple's resolve. Otherwise, they can go to mediation for resolution.

Kanye Kanye

T'is the season to be meridiculous. Kanye West announced he was running for the US Presidency in the future, like 2020?! Is his vision thus? Or was he just following the Donald's bad example?

Mediators have to likewise separate the chaff from the grain in assertions during the sessions.

Homo Naledi

That is the name of the prehistoric man whose remains were found in South Africa of late. It could also refer to transgenders. LOL

Mediation, too is in constant development. Ways are being found to lessen the time needed to arrive at a conclusion.

S-Mash-ing

Discovered Putlocker with its oldie shows. Mash, for instance, was like Grey's Anatomy during the Korean War. In one episode, they decided to have boxing matches per camp. Cheating, included. Instead of horseshoe in gloves, they dipped
them in ether. The chaplain did overtime by becoming the referee.

Mediation needs to adjust to situations, likewise.

Me grant

Now come the refugees from Syria like the Hebrews from ancient Egypt. Countries reveal their respective attitude toward them by their statements and actions. Some have set limits to the number they could accommodate. Others had citizens rallying their welcome. Hungary put up barbed wires against the hungry.

In these cases, the United Nations mediates among countries.

Doggone Friends

The Big Bang Theory took another look at friendship, too. One character described a friend as loyal, fun to be with when together, etc. Sheldon smart-alecky again retorted, "That could also be a dog!"

Mediation also strives to reinforce commonality between disputants. Couples, family, friends, neighbors, officemates, co-members- these close associates are also the usual ones in conflict.

See Man Ticks

I like the wit of the Big Bang Theory show. Once, someone stated, "I thought I was supposed to speak before a class." "No," said Sheldon, "I told you to teach someone a lesson."

Mediation has all of these miscommunication. Thst is why communication is also the solution.

Freedom Writers

For once, a true story! HBO featured the effect of a dedicated teacher on public high school freshmen toughies. In the end, they published their daily journals of woes, named after the Freedom Riders of that era. It was narrated that their teacher taught them through high school up to college, upon their request.

The disputants may also choose the mediator they could work with. But hopefully, they learn from the experience to be able to deal with succeeding conflicts on their own.

Japanese Discards

Canadian garbage exporters to the Philippines could learn a lesson from their Japanese counterpart. During Erap's administration, the Japanese got back their waste products. Recently, the Japanese did it again. They are now "recycling" the Filipino nurses and caregivers who did not make it to the Japanese licensure examination or otherwise returned to the Philippines. They can be employed in Japanese companies and medical institutes here as company nurses, interpreters and office staff.

Mediation has often seen different responses to the same situation, some more amicable than others.

Donating Discards

One of this year's Ramon Magsaysay awardees from India, Mr. Gupta, founded the Goonj (Echo) project. Inspired by seeing a poor child hugging a dead body to keep warm, he and his wife started gathering old clothes from their closet, to give away to the needy. Without formal fund-raising, Goonj has grown into 12 offices in 12 Indian states. Another game-changer is their philosophy that donation of old items is mere discarding of stuff to make room for new ones. There is respect for recepients, too.

Mediation likewise respects disputants, as they are the ones who ultimately solve their own problem.

Along Comes Polly

This DIVA romcom with Stiller and Aniston had this message: It's not about the past nor the future, but the (present) ride. Mediation likewise focuses on what can be done to untangle the present knotted dispute.

Trans (Non) Fat

Transgender Caitlyn Jenner has added even more complication into the already mixed-up Kardashians through the scoop, in a one voice open (closet) door..

There is now the Xe pronoun for their gender. Mediation is getting more colorful.

Recipe for Love

This was another DIVA fairy tale on cable. A crabby chef turned out to be starved for the love of his father. After a writer of his recipes found material reassuring him, he was ok.

Mediators sometimes play part-time therapists, especially to couples and families.

Par Lack Provincial Hospital

Tarlac Provincial Hospital does not have a healthy relationship with its staff, most especially the doctors. It seems their professional fees from Philhealth are being withheld by management. That is like depriving these life-nurturers of their livelihood.

Buddy Language

The Baby Blues comic strip featured the kids asking for a dog, then downgraded to three hamsters. "Well," the sister followed-up her brother who asked permission from their mother. "Her mouth stated shut, but her face yelled 'No!'" was the brother's report.

Mediation deals with both the spoken and the unspoken, too.

Magkano-nano

The heirs of that lovable alien on tv, Robin Williams, are in a Cinderela-esque situation. It's the stepmother vs.the children over his estate.

Lawyers are getting into the fray and the funds. Time for mediation.

Maalampaya Mo Kaya

Trust a fruitful tree to have stones thrown its way. Such is like the Malampaya energy project off Palawan. Of course, that province wants a higher percentage of its share in the output. The Commission of Audit has likewise entered the picture with a P53 billion tax bill. Last heard, Department of Energy was talking of arbitration out of this conflict. Arbitration is a legal process of alternative dispute resolution wherein an arbiter settles the conflict with his decision. Hence, the term arbitrary.

Special Reasons

Today is my birthday. Special enough, but Our Daily Bread, the Gospel reflection book, finds other reasons to celebrate. Los Angeles, for one, was founded on this day in 1781.

Conflicts arise when personal interests clash with one another. Mediation to the rescue.

Clue to Makati

As Kato is the sidekick of one fictional hero, Mr. Cruto of the Action Center is to Makati OIC Mayor "Kid" Pena, who is truly Acting. In the Aughost month, thousands of disqualified or dead senior citizens were identified as still availing of benefits. Another punny remark that came up during the said Senate hearing was that the card BLU (Binay loves u?) should instead be spelled BRU!

Sometimes, change is good if it will redound to the common good, after uncovering dirt swept under the rug.

Grey Anatomy

Aside from McDreamy and Meredith, another doctor-couple in Grey's Anatomy are lesbians Arizona and Torres. One episode saw the latter couple undergoing therapy that led to their "no communication" cooling off period, even under one roof. They decided on the petiod of one month, which was broken earlier, to positive results.

Counselors for two are like mediators. They facilitate persons in conflict to  settle it amicably.

Little Black Book II

Another quotable quote from this HBO movie: "Fool me once, shame on you;  fool me twice, shame on me."

Precisely what mediation is proactively avoiding. After being fooled once, the victim is hopefully armed by the experience of mediation with enough insight and skills like negotiation to prevent recurrence of the unfortunate incident.

Little Black Book

This HBO movie had another take on luck.  It was defined as preparation and opportunity combined.

Success in negotiation ("luck") during mediation ("opportunity") likewise requires preparation.

Nerdy Consolation

Sheldon Cooper of Big Bang Theory consoled his nerdy friends thus, "Be glad you can't keep women. They're a handful."

Sometimes, sour-graping or putting down what one cannot have, eases one's feeling of loss in mediation.

Nerdy Proposals

Big Bang Theory's Sheldon and Amy showed their prowess at anti-social behavior negotiation when they bargained for least physical contact between themselves. Former US First Lady Nancy Reagan of "Just Say No" would have been proud of them.

Some model for self-mediation that is possible with two rational, calm, and fair individuals.

Friends' Advice

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time," Joey of the sitcom Friends advised.

Words of wisdom for disputants in mediation regarding responsibility for one's actions.

Mind-Controlling Movie

There was a sketchy report recently about a UK production of a movie that controls the mind of its viewers.

Mediation, on the other hand, leaves disputants free to negotiate with each other toward the solution of their conflict.

Chalk Street Art

After their Scandinavian minimalism, Denmark has now come up with this art form from the classroom! Trust this nation to go back to basics with an economical twist.

Such is mediation. It has been there all the while, but now organized to meet current needs.

Kasambahay Savings Project

As reported by GMA News TV, this is a project well thought of by a Filipina student in Columbia University, US. Househelpers are now approached by banks on week-end gatherings so they can open a savings account for only P 100. One was able to save P12, 000. over a year, on a monthly salary of P 5, 000.

This Columbia U student has mediated between  helpers and their families over the former's salaries.

Jumping To Be A Doctor

Reporter's Notebook of GMA News TV had a touching feature on a  particular "jumper," of the group of boys jumping onto garbage trucks in search of left-over food and other items for recycling. Perhaps after eating rotten food and getting wounded often, this boy says he wants to be a doctor.

This is one case of the end justifying the means. Otherwise, mediation sees cases to the contrary.

Traffic at the LTO

Even before drivers can get on the road, they already experience traffic at the Land Transportation Office. Applicants for license and car plate form long and winding lines  in uncomfortably warm rooms. Some are even sent back the next day.

Indifference to the suffering of citizens is difficult to justify in mediating such situations.

Err-ica

In its channel plug, 2nd Avenue has Erica declaring herself ugly. I just wonder if she has met foreigners or gone abroad. There, she could be considered exotic. Indeed, there is a fine line between self-acceptance and flagellation. So with the definition and sense of what is ugly.

Different points of view could lead to conflict. Hopefully, they avail of mediation.

Nanny McFee

Christine, the former nanny of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Gardner's children had a nice retirement package. She now has the car of choice of P-Noy- a Lexus! Now, that is "cost-efficient"! Would Jen follow Kathie Lee's advice to "forgive the father of her children?" From their picture during Ben's 43rd birthday celebration at Disney, it's surely not a happy place there. Hurt, betrayal, wounded pride and lost of trust (added to this very public and financial situation) are intense emotions dealt with in couple mediation and hopefully not divorce.

A Frank Gifford

Kathie Lee Gifford' s words on the recent death of her husband Frank had a message for wives with unfaithful husbands:"Forgive your children's father." Perhaps that sustained her marriage.

Like battered wives, those cheated on have reasons for staying. To each her own, till she can take it. Then, there is mediation to avail of.

Mother's Day Away

The third word could mean fight in Pilipino, which could also apply. This DIVA movie was about two neglected mothers who dated themselves on their day by booking at a spa resort. One of them, an architect, was even offered a consultancy by the winery owner.

Another case for  caucus, when things become too hot, and not only in the kitchen! Away time is a way out of "aways."

Love By Design

DIVA channel comes up with modern-day fairy tales that are good to watch before bedtime. This particular movie was about a Romanian fashionista working in a New York magazine who was a vegetarian and not cut-out for the rat race. She goes back to her rustic hometown, given a sewing room in their old house, and returns to New York with her own brand and a beau in tow. Reminds me of one-on-one caucuses that are implemented when issues become too hot,and which hopefully lead to things being seen more clearly, calmly and creatively productive.

Global Mediator

True to his humble ways, former US President Jimmy Carter himself announced that he has cancer. In an Inquirer article from the New York Times News Service, Carter is said to hold the record of the longest postpresidency in American history, despite his family's medical history of the disease. Perhaps, this is due to his wholesome life as well as deep involvement "in the Carter Center, the Atlanta-based nonprofit that he helped found in 1982, which had emerged as one of the most prominent human rights organizations." He is also the face of Habitat for Humanity. In a History channel documentary, Carter was reported to still have been in negotiations for the release of American hostages in the Middle East just before the inauguration of his successor, Ronald Reagan, under whose administration its successful conclusion happened. Hence, post-White House saw Carter mediating in "Haiti, Panama and other countries, and in 2010, securing the release of an American in North Korea." Our hero!!!

Odd-vertising

Kim Kardashian-West has done it again! Another controversy hounds her family, after father Bruce is now Caitlyn, etc. Kim, poses with her anti-morning sickness medicine on Instagram, supposedly with the (material) blessings of its manufacturer. The FDA is up in arms. She has likewise short-circuited the advertising process to a whole nano level.

Cyber criminality is a frontier area for mediation. Before, teleconferencing with both disputants was already avant garde.

Another Take on "The Other Woman"

Star Movies' Sweet Flicks had a fun and practical way of getting even. Do not get mad.Just befriend the other woman and get his money! Of course, having supportive friends helps, too The better half can get over being bitter, and even cleanse the wayward ways of the xpouse! Neat self- mediation.

Spotify

Don't know anything about this app and pretty much all else, but thought this particular one could be used to sift through the National Budget pregnant with lump sums again, it seems. Legislators are asked to spot and specify these bumps.

Mediation requires vigilance, too. Agreements have to be followed to ensure that the conflict does not recur.

Banking on the Wrong Bank

Inquirer's Biz Buzz wrote of a board room war being carried out at the National Labor Relations Commission. "A lady executive formerly tasked with making this foreign bank look good has now turned into the same bank's worst PR nightmare locally in what's shaping up to be a costly legal battle." The issue is the tricky matter of constructive dismissal, after said employee "getting her separation package and executing the quit claim." The NLRC case was filed two years later.

Some afterthought! As they say, change is the only constant- fear of quit claim receivers.

All About Vice

Perhaps it is good that the presidential candidates do not yet have a Vice right now. Pun intended. Ganda, di ba? At dapat!

Election season requires mediating ambitions.

Paid Mourners

The Chinese are not the only ones engaging paid mourners. It seems VP Binay likewise wants to be paid for condoling with Gloria Arroyo on the death of her brother Arturo. Perhaps by election mileage points?

Mediators have to also sift through shows of sympathy.

Fowl Means

World Heritage cable is on preview. No ads! The other day, animals during the four seasons were featured. Owls and eagles were shown extending their wings to scare and ward off preying animals.

Just like people who shout, throw their weight around, and otherwise explode emotionally to defend themselves. All too familiar on the mediation table.

Unmarrying

"The Millers" of 2nd Avenue had an interesting episode on divorce. Their son adminstered their rite of unmarrying, complete with vows to break and throwing of the rings.

At least on tv, it can be funny. In actual cases, hopefully they can be civilly mediated.

Matrimonial Attorneys

In DIVA channel's George Clooney marathon, the first feature had him as the lawyer to-go-to for prenup and/or divorce. Of course with Catherine Zeta-Jones as his client's wife, there was bound to be conflict of interest. In fact, they got married after her intervening marriage on the rebound that ended in divorce, too. After their own divorce, and the death of her first husband, Clooney's character has a legal epiphany and foregoes his usual cynicism. Reconciliation takes its place.

Mediators hope this ending happens more often in real life.

Things We Lost in the Fire

DIVA cable had this good movie last night. Halle Berry's character lost her husband
to a senseless violent crime and  had to take over the care of his friend's drug rehab. She compared that experience with material things they had previously lost in a fire.

Mediation deals with values beyond the material, too.

Magic in the Moment

That was the title of an HBO movie. Delightful English characters dealt with an American woman posing as a psychic, as well as trying to marry her victim's heir.

Mediation sometimes has to sift through credibility gaps, too.

See, Senior

Yesterday was a revelation. Thinking I had left my senior citizen's card at McDonald's, I went back to their outlet. There, the crew member flashed
several cards with the same fate. Suggested they alphabetize them, too.

Seniors have problems with memory. However, they have experience to
make-up for it. They are thus good mediator material.

Ka-purse O

Usually down payments are a few tens of thousands, we are more or less ready to forfeit should the deal not push through.  But big business is something else. The planned sale of tv station GMA to Ramon Ang involved a billion down payment! That amount is hard to lose. So Mr. Ang has sued GMA CEO Atty. Felipe Gozon et al for syndicated estafa, after the sale did not materialize. Let us see if GMA lives up to its tagline of Serbisyong TOTOO.

In the end, one's conscience is a self-regulating mediator.

Men-ace to Society

Ended Sunday on a sunny note after watching Dennis the Menace on Warner Brothers cable. Back then, children were naughty, pure of intention and simple.

Now, they sniff rugby to ward off hunger pangs or engage in petty crimes because they cannot be put to jail. They are thus mediated with their neglectful parents.

International Mediation

The case of the Canadian trash is not yet trashed. "On behalf of its Philippine partner, BAN Toxics, the Basel Action Network (BAN) based in Seattle, Washington, has asked the secretariat of the United Nations on the Basel Convention to file a case against Canada following the dumping of 26 cargo containers of wastes from Canada in a sanitary landfill in Capas, Tarlac. (Inquirer, 02 August 2015, A9)

Thank heavens for a North American friend intervening for the Philippines against another North American country.

Choices

There is a quotable quote in "Fault in our Stars." We choose the ones who hurt us. Perhaps that is why family members and close friends hurt us the most, as we care for them in like measure.

Mediation has seen more family members and close friends in conflict, too.

Presidential Mediation

As predicted, President Aquino endorsed DILG Secretary Mar Roxas as the Liberal Party's presidential candidate. Senators Poe and Escudero are left out in the cold after those Palace dinners P-Noy hosted to moderate the trio's political ambitions.

Ambition, like greed and other traits that tend to be excessive, are often dealt with in mediation.

Floating Evidence

Sea bullies, beware! Secure your tools of naval destruction, lest they float to your victim's shores. That seems to have actually happened, when "fishermen found these containment booms with Chinese markings in waters off Cabangan, Zambales," as Inquirer reported recently.

Sometimes in mediation, too, if logic or goodwill fails, a little help from nature could lead to some lucky lead to settlement. My aging mother, sued by lot buyers of her subdivision abandoned by the developer, got off the hook due to her dementia.

Projection

It is a defense mechanism people use for psychological self-preservation. Or political, if you will, as Binay does, when he describes rivals as just depending on "name recall, political rhetoric and drama." He could very well be depicting himself!

In mediation and anywhere else, it is best to assume that what people criticize in others is precisely what they do not like about themselves!

Take 5

Months?, i.e. That is what Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada is saying to market vendors of Quinta (5) Market in the meantime it is being rebuilt. Back to sidewalk-vending for them.

Mediation could have sought the needs and interests of the city and its citizens both vendors and consumers, through a win-win compromise.

Aunor's Horror Stories

Local cinema took to the extreme the maxim "Strike while the iron is hot!" Nora Aunor revealed recently that at one point in her popular career, she was shooting five films in different rooms of a mansion at the same time. Of course, it was confusing, and she had to be prompted as to what particular movie she was filming at the moment of what day!

If only we could do simultaneous mediation sessions, perhaps all disputes on bouncing checks one day. Settlement could be chosen from a schedule of payment.
Like mass weddings!!!

Taking (Wood) Stock

Down memory lane yesterday, as "Taking Woodstock" was shown on cable. It presented the back story of the actual country concert about 5 decades (not of the rosary!) ago. I reviewed the movie that covered the actual event for our college paper and remembered the nuns who came over and even made the "peace" sign. Anyway, the couple-farmers who owned the tract of land were able to pay the loan on their property, as well as taste some marijuana-laced brownies!!!

In mediation, it is good to have an idea of the background of the dispute, only in the course of understanding the situation and the best way to solve the conflict.

Guidance & Control

That is not the new name for Guidance & Counseling, and never will be. It has always been based on the volition of the counselee. Guidance & Control refers to the systems lead of the New Horizons project to Pluto, a hi-tech remote control across the galaxy.

Mediation is likewise not subject to control, remote or otherwise. Like counseling, which it is but for two, it relies on the (good)will of both sides.

More Than Meets The Eye Center

Philhealth recently was faced with charges of eye clinics seeing double cataract operations on a patient within a week or two. That is not regularly done.  So with other irregularities, it was further alleged.

Sometimes even eye centers are not clear on their actions. Mediation surely sees more than enough of this trend.

Rat a To We

Regressed to Disney cable network last night, delighted to catch Ratatouille on role reversal in the kitchen. The former pest becomes a chef instead!

In mediation, previous trouble-makers can morph into peacemakers at the prodding of mediators.

Bar Codes

Today's Biz Buzz of the Inquirer had alarming news that our driver's licenses and car plates do not really need barcodes as the owner's name and address, as well as car plate numbers are already shown. It could just be considered as decorative then.

I always wondered why the sitcom Big Bang Theory has an Indian, Raj as token minority nerd. I guess Filipinos would qualify for corrupt token minority. No mediation needed there.

I See Castle

Ice Castle was reshown by Fox cable network. Figure-skating galore to beautiful music. Female lead suffers disability but supported by family and friends, recovers.

Conflicts should also be dealt the same. Faced squarely and cooperatively.

Katam Ko

North Cotabato Rep. Nancy Catamco proved to be true to her name when she criticized indigenous people in what was supposed to be a dialogue with them, legislators and the military. She surely acted like a plane tool of destruction.

It is important that in mediation, disputants come with openness, good will/
attitude/ and feelings about each other, and not just negativity.

Aiding AIDS

Cable AMC (previously thought to stand for American Motors Co) has surprisingly good offerings. Yesterday, they featured, "The Cure," intriguing, so I watched on. It was about a heartwarming relationship of two boys, neighbors who were separated by a fence covered by a thick plastic curtain. The younger boy had AIDS, which did not bother the other boy, supposedly the son of a Led Zeppelin band member who was, of course, always away. The boys go on adventures from floating down their creek on a lifesaver to buy chocolates in the grocery, to picking leaves for curative tea
Threatened with summer camp by AIDS-phobic mother of elder boy, he stows away with young friend to New Orleans in their search for The Cure.

Children could be potential mediators as they see things more clearly and simply, with less bias. They just focus on the problem and try to solve it.

Message in a Battle

Revisited WB's movie, Message in a Bottle last night. The female lead- journalist was aptly portrayed by Robin Wright Penn, who now plays the first lady in tv's House of Cards. Back to the Message, she receives three messages not from the Blessed Virgin, but from a couple who expressed their bottled up emotions and literally "inilista sa tubig." Good for cinematic effect; bad for open communication, even leading to death.
Instead of patching up with the journalist directly, the male lead takes a 4th letter to ask permission from his departed wife, aboard his boat on a stormy day. Fatal idea

While disputants are still alive and maybe kicking each other, perhaps they can "stop and talk for awhile" to each other over mediation.

Anti-Social Media

Despite all the bad effects of social media, there was a good one recently. A most wanted man, not by females but by the law, was caught by his post.

Mediation is keeping up with the times. The usual road to litigation now has an alternative route toward conflict resolution.

Faker/ Stealer

It's now the time for fake rice. They have become homicidal! Before, they just copied designer stuff. One such faker interviewee defended his illegal trade by asking the reporter would he rather he steal? Precisely, he is stealing intellectual property rights

Disputants in mediation sometimes have to be conscientized

Mediation Among Friends and Nations

Reruns of the sitcom Friends are so delightful; nothing beats the original, or next to Three's Company. One episode had the six friends settling the matter of varied income brackets. The three higher-paid treating the other three made the latter feel like charity cases. KKK (paying for one's expenses) was deemed more equitable.

The Greek financial dilemma is like the Friends' crisis on a global scale. Germany and other Euro nations are the more well-off countries dealing with poorer Greece and its IMF debt. Same as in Friends, the starting point is always what the concerned party can afford. Can't squeeze from a stone; now that is not all Greek to me.

50 Cent Bankruptcy

Moral of this poverty mentality- a singer who calls himself 50 Cent filed for bankruptcy. But of course, he is involved in divorce proceedings.

Economic downturns are often the subject of mediation.

Do Nut Lick

One minute Arianna Grande was espousing feminist lines about not being anybody's property. Next she was establishing ownership over all the donuts on a counter by licking them. Such a turn-around.

There are some actions that are plainly wrong. Last heard, this little young lady was admitting her misbehavior, but not in a grand way. No contest to that.

Mediating Heirs

Sunday's Inquirer today featured a helpful article on inheritance. A letter to one's children could be a less expensive and legalistic way of dealing with it. Either way, fairness is the name of the game.

Then, the children would not have through mediation, or worse litigation!

Khumba yeah

Taking a break from watching bad news and analyzing the Kardashians, I chanced upon Fox Family Movies' animated offering, Khumba. He was a half zebra who thus looked literally bottomless.

Cartoons about animals are like modern Aesop's fables that can be team-building fare. This time, issues tackled were social conformity as well as ecological concerns such as sharing of water and safari/poaching.  An ostrich did a Dying Swan ballet!

Sometimes animals can teach us lessons in acceptance, generosity, and cooperation, values needed in mediation.

Making Suman in the Flood

An 83- year old woman from the province ironically called Bata-an, was a refreshing sight on tv. Unlike the complainers, pleaders, and attention- getters, she was makin suman amidst the flood in her kitchen. She must be very liquid!

Lola would be an ideal mediator for her persistence, positive attitude and action.

The Greeks Say No

In a referendum, Greece voted against even more austerity measures to keep up with their financial options as a result of default on their IMF loan obligations.

Solutions to conflict require both sides to agree. In this case, a stalemate ensues, as one side refuses to budge.

TV Anchor Set Free

AFP reported that Brian Williams was taken off NBC's nightly news program for "embellishment of his role in covering in covering the war in Iraq."

Beware of baseless claims and other "creative narration" in mediation, too.

Time and Space Mediation

On a personal note, allow me to relate a bit of family "mediation" we did today. My single son and I decided to celebrate his birthday at Vikings for dinner. Usual routine is, of course, going out together. But he had other plans with friends in the afternoon, so could we instead just meet at the buffet place later? Who says no to a celebrant? lol

If only, other conflicts were as simple as this!

Jeering Jiro

Jiro Manio, a former child star whose talent had been acknowledged, is now a recovering drug and alcohol addict, aside from being a young father. Recently, he acted out the role of the "Terminal Man" in real life at NAIA 3.  Dolly Carvajal's son, IC Mendoza, another former child star, advised him thus: "Okay lang may pinagdaanan, huwag mo lang tambayan."

Mediation believes likewise. Everyone gets into conflict, but don't wallow in it. There is always an amicable way out.

Conditional Forgiveness

Fr. Jerry Orbos had a human interest story in today's Sunday Inquirer. Two sisters reconciled during the illness of the elder sibling.  Punchline came from the latter, "Yes, I forgive you, but that does not count if I get well, OK?"

Mediation is replete with conditions and caveats. Better clear and safe than sorry and caught by surprise.

Hazy Hazing Investigation

Talks between UP and the parents of a victim of campus violence bogged down when the latter walked out. Their demand? That the Student Council chair name the attackers, who happen to belong to his fraternity, too.

That is pure conflict of interest. In mediation, one never handles a dispute wherein s/he is in/directly involved.

Greek Tragedy

Today, we are witness to a large scale drama played on the economic stage. Greece has reneged on its debts to international financial institutions.

On a smaller scale, mediation handles default on payments to credit card companies, financing companies and even usurious creditors!

Frank Pope

According to the AFP news agency, Pope Francis has admitted it is at times "morally necessary" for couples to separate.  Finally, a pope who understands what his flock is undergoing!

In mediation sessions, this is called caucus or one-on-one talk with the individual disputants one after another, after both of them get heated up in discussion. Cooling off is needed in all relationships.

Bwakaw

A local film i also missed, Bwakaw, was featured on GMA News TV's indiekalibre tonight. Timely, as it was about an aging gay man, shown after the U.S. Supreme Court voted to make same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states. The character of Eddie Garcia used the confessional box to transact with the parish priest re his last will, to which the latter remarked, "You are concerned with the things of the past. Don't you want to prepare for where you are going?"

The matter of an executor for one's last will and testament is a crucial matter. At times, heirs want him executed instead! Mediators save these messengers from being shot by having the heirs air their grievance in the hope of keeping everyone of them happy.

Captain Phillips

HBO thankfully featured a movie I missed, "Captain Phillips." Tom Hanks beautifully portrayed the American captain whose cargo ship was hijacked by Somali rebels. He put his life on the line and saved his men. He also tried negotiating with the rebels, first by befriending them. In the end, the awesome naval power of the United States saved Captain Phillips.

Sometimes, we have to try mediating for our own life's sake.

Circle of (Catholic) Friends

The 2nd Avenue movie, "Circle of Friends" was a touching period piece about
Catholic young men and women in school. The lives of six of them were followed from adolescence to young adulthood.  Of course, conflict was bound to arise, this time between two girls over a boy. Two other girls served as buffer and conscience, actually for the guilty girl.

Informal mediation between friends is what the Bible calls "brotherly correction."

FB Mediation

Social media by its very nature is bound to get people into conflict. Opinions and reactions fly fast and furious. Make that global and you increase the chances exponentially!

There have been a dose of level-headedness poured in good measure, too. Reminders like "Walk the talk" from Jim Paredes, and "What you resist, persists" from Dr. Castillo are virtual fire-fighting reminders.

Photobomb Mediation

Even while its case is still pending in court, there are already remedies being put forth on the Torre de Manila. Alternatives included reflecting glass panels, tall trees and an artistic facade to backdrop Rizal's monument.

Now that's voluntary goodwill needed in mediation problem-solving, not the blame game going on, too.

Hating Kapatid

This was first recorded in the Bible when Abraham and nephew Lot divided their Promised Land between themselves. Lot got the more fruitful, but unfortunately immoral Sodom.

Mediation over real estate became imperative later on, with the increase in population, motives, needs and wants.

Why should I be ashamed, I'm happy!

Thus exclaimed a female rocker on a 2nd Avenue cable ad, expressing thoughts and feelings on lesbianism. Thank goodness, she was no sadist or some other hideous person.

Happiness as a gauge of behavior could be a dangerous proposition, especially for those without a guided conscience. Sometimes, the happy driver is the one who got away from a chasing cop. And how many times have we seen sad victims in mediation. Shameful!

Red Hat Ladies

Cable sitcom "Rules of Engagement" had the last laugh when its resident lech landed with such elderly ladies on a cruise! His staff explained it thus, "Sometimes, bad things happen to bad people. "

Mediation is another equalizer.

A Rat Smells a Landmine

Rats now return the favor. An Inquirer news item from Cambodia related that the country imported rodents "from Africa, to sniff out" whatever unexploded devices still left on their terrain.

Even rats are given second chances at redemption by human ingenuity. Mediation works on the human level.

Mga Ilaw ng Tahanan

Perhaps 'mga munting ilaw ng tahanan.' "Teenage moms light up, empower Tondo slums," read an Inquirer banner on the young women's solar energy project, as transferred technolgy from India'a Ramon Magsaysay awardee, Harish Hande.

Changing lives is likewise  a goal of mediation.

Toral of the Story

According to an Inquirer news item, the Father of the Cebu Dancing Inmates was once one of them. Into the family business after college, Marco Toral made a detour at 36 after being implicated in drug dealing. Even then, he distinguished himself by being the grandson of the donor of the lot where he was jailed.  And while serving sentence, he had a friend-owner of a furniture factory to subcontract the smoothing of rattan to them. They also busied themselves making candles.

It takes one to really know and understand one. Now consultant on jail matters, Toral is helped by his law student son in monitoring the cases of inmates. There are plans to build more room for them. Meantime, the dancers are also baking bread, and recycling materials into pen holders and artificial flowers. Rehabilitation is like mediating between prisoners and society.

A. Grande Thought

Make that Ariana. The pint-size star said a mouthful against women being regarded as possessions, usually referred to as an ex, current squeeze, or whatever.

Mediation often deals with the effects of this chattel mentality. No idle chatter.

Papal Mediation

Pope Francis' long-awaited encyclical on Climate Change is out. As expected, themes of stewardship and common good vs. common good were tackled.

Perhaps the Philippines could make him a resource person in its sea conflict with China.

Spokesperson Mediator

Despite previous nonchalance and denial, Binay finally admits to "running scared" especially with the latest survey results showing him sliding to second place. And believing in quantity over quality, he got yet another spokesperson in the person of former broadcaster & Antipolo Mayor Mon Ilagan, who is more amiable than the rest.

Mon can just mediate among the spokesmen. Binay is on his own in explaining all those corruption charges, which are responsible for his downturn.

Nip The Bomb

The Rizal Park Photobomber, i.e.  Why it took Torre de Manila to be stopped at nearly 50 floors and 9 years later, could only be in the Philipines!

Just like court cases, which take even more time. Except that in this case, it has only just begun.

Messianic Mediation

In yesterday's Gospel reading from Matthew 5, Jesus Christ said, "If someone sues you in court for your shirt, give him your coat as well."

If people followed this advice, mediators would not be needed!

Dog Mediator

Twas a pleasure to catch Cesar Millan again on Nat Geo. Last night's episode had him settling the sidewalk fight between poodles out for a walk on one side, and the rest of the pack on the other. He traced their excitement to that of their masters.

If only mediating humans were as simple as that! We can truly learn from our best friends!

Taiwan Family Feud

Inquirer columnist Queena Lee- Chua featured yet another "All in the Family " business. This time, she focused on the Wangs of Taiwan in the plastic industry. Their life was nothing like their product. It read like a telenovela of multiple mates and children's choices. In the end, it has survived with an outsider as chair.

That is the role of a mediator in disputes.

Another One Bites the Dust

Malaysia is the latest country to protest Chinese intrusion into its waters, according to an Inquirer news item. It has joined the ranks of country-complainants like the Philippines, Vietnam, Japan... The list goes on vs. the Sea Bully!!!

Like in popular wisdom, the one with the most number of complainants is probably guilty. Plus the refusal to face the opponents. Like somebody we all know. Mediation doesn't like that.

Masochism in the Family

How else to explain the rush of families to run for thankless, low-paying jobs every election? Unemployed or unemployable, too? Or more so, another form of family (monkey) business? Take your puke!

Finally, the Anti-Dynasty Law's Implementing Rules and Regulations are being taken up by our dynastic legislators, in an obvious attempt to derail the Binay dynasty. No mediating that!

Mad MMDA

According to an Inquirer Metro news article, MMDA traffic marshal Cesar Detera, Jr. lives up to his name. With a little help from his Sr., he devised a helmet with a camera on top.  This has now deterred motorists in his beat from traffic violations and violence.  Hail, Cesar!

He has self-mediated between mad motorists and his MMDA group. Nothing like a bit of protective gear! Mediation likewise protects the rights of both parties. Everybody happy but first and foremost, alive!

Brushe Jenner

While watching the Kardashians, have always thought their patriach Bruce looked like our old nuns in school before. True enough, Bruce is now Caitlyn.

Interesting times for mediation, since Caitlyn has launched her own show, and her mother has said that it was always about money when s/he was still married to Kris.

Lucky Break

The Mutts cartoon: "I've insomnia."
                                    "That's nothing a goodnight's sleep couldn't cure."

Sometimes, cliches and cure-alls seem apt solutions. However, disputes require more insight and inside info.in order to be resolved.

Hospital-ity

APEC time again, to clear the streets of the homeless. Some have been hurt physically,
other than emotionally, morally. Why were they allowed to stay there in the first place? And now, not anymore?! City officials obviously have not been making the rounds of their scope of responsibility and authority way before this time.

Mediation handles such swept-under-the-rug cases that are bound to surface, as sure as the Manila Bay sunset.

Reason for Release

Now comes a Batasan motion to give house a-rest to their fellow-legislator GMA. They say she is not getting any better in the hospital, so better send her to one of her homes, in the country, i.e. Shouldn't she be sent to a regular prison cell instead, since she may not need hospitalization anymore? And if being in VMMC doesn't help her any, how would being at home be a better alternative, except for her freedom? Ang daming butas sa Batasan motion.

Disputants have likewise come up with alibis galore during mediation. Time to separate the cheap and the gross.

Toby or not Toby

Voter's Beware time! Anyone is free game and target. Accusers need not know how to count nor have a bit of conscience. Just a feel for money.

Mediators are wary of accusers all the time. They say to them, "Show me the proof."

Non-Honrado

If I'm not mistaken, Honrado means honored/honorable in Spanish? The NAIA manager is anything but. The only thing going for him is being an Aquino relative. So passengers can wait in line and get soaked in the rain INSIDE the terminal, planes can also undergo traffic on air...

We need disputants with word of honor, too, so they keep their side of the settlement.

Cyber Report/Bullying

One good news today is that Taguig and Pateros (aptly called TAPAT) are working together with DepEd toward a solution to cyber-bullying on the internet, too. One
can report such cases right on the crime screen.

Out-of-the-box settlements are likewise the stuff mediation is about.

Her

HBO finally showed this movie I missed. An ex-wife is replaced by a computer. Worse than another woman or a man!!!

Romance has been taken over by sci-fi. Usually, it is by accounting, as in separation of properties. Can't imagine mediating between a man and the computer! Not that savvy.

The Fault is the Star

The San Andreas and West Valley Faults are now stars, literally and figuratively.  The buzz they are creating is earth-shaking enough!

There are things that are beyond our control. But as much as we can, let us try to lessen the pressure of man-made conflicts by disagreeing agreeably in mediation.

Advice to Retirees

Being a senior citizen now, Inquirer columnist Michael Tan gave the following advice to retirees, whom he will be joining soon:

1. "Be grateful for what we have gotten from life.
2. We should be giving more as we age.
3. Stay active physically and mentally.
4. Stay in love.
5. Do come back to visit your office, your friends."  And may I add, consider becoming a mediator.

Out Came the Sun

That is the title of Mariel Hemingway's latest book. Papa would have been proud, more so because the scion has overcome suicidal tendencies successfully.

Suicide is a plea for attention to one's conflict, whether personal or relational.  Maybe mediation could set-up a 24-hotline for this purpose as well.

Collateral Damage

Pleas for attention to one's conflict take many forms- from dialogue, confrontation, suicidal attempts to hostage- taking, which was the action of choice by a soldier. He was "reportedly incensed by suspicions his wife was cheating on him," as reported in the Inquirer, so he took over a bus with over 30 passengers for 4 hours in Camarines after which he gave himself up.

All's well that ends well but didn't have to begin that way. It could have been settled at the barangay level.

Precedent

That is legalese for prior deed that justifies the same in the future. Applied to practical life, a B.C.cartoon asked, "What's the best way to prevent hangovers?
A well remembered precedent."

Put negatively, "a burnt dog dreads the fire." A painful experience normally
leads to its avoidance. Hopefully, too after mediation, persons would learn
how to deal with the onset of conflict.

Anti-Social Media

For all the negative effects of social media, there was a good one recently. A most wanted guy, not by females but by the law, was finally caught by his post.

Mediation is keeping up with the times, too. The usual road to litigation now has an alternative route toward conflict resolution.

Me-dating

Talking with a client for psychological testing on an annulment case, I somehow had an idea how it came to this.  As he was from out-of-town, I  was awaiting my plane ticket as arranged by his friend.

Question 1: Why was he paying for my fare? Answer- he could fly to Manila instead.

Question 2: Why am I staying overnight in a hotel? Fine, he can undergo the rigorous testing the whole day, so I will just fly in early morning and leave in the evening.

Question 3: Why would he be paying for his wife's testing?To be fair to both parties and if she is around and willing to be tested, that would make for a stronger case. But usually, only one party offers to be tested, in which case we send a letter to the other party for due notice and invitation. In lieu of testing the other party, we interview persons who knew the couple to get a total picture. If he wishes, we could ask his wife to shoulder her testing fee. Whew!

Truly beyond mediation! Hopefully, testing ensues next week.

Tie One, Tie Another

Taiwan is getting to be a peacemaker in the region. Reuters reports that after its successful sharing of marine life with Japan in 2012, Taiwan now suggests that South China Sea "claimants to temporarily shelve their disagreements to enable negotiations on sharing resources."

Truly, you cannot shake hands with each other if both of you are holding weapons toward the other. Taiwan is showing the way to mediation.

Live Evil

On the Movie Channel, "Little Children" had interwoven suburban subplots, one of which involved a pervert. He was harassed, featured in a "Is your child safe?" flyer posted on his door, and shooed out of the community pool. Last straw was spray-painting EVIL downward on the tiles of his sidewalk. Upward it read LIVE. Were they enabling him instead of helping him out?

Mediation is a positive way out for the "evil" people.

Looking at Things

The Inquirer banner read "Cop caught on torture video (says): It's discipline." Some way of locking up thugs!

A ruse by any name smells just as bad. Not mediation material, definitely.

Odd Couple II

Twas a remake-able Saturday. In the evening, the "Odd Couple" was a pleasant surprise! As usual, nothing beats the original. Lines were as witty, though. Oscar, having his taxes done by Felix, commented to his ex-wife,"We wrecked our marriage. Let's not wreck our divorce," in their at-tempt at reconciliation.

Either they cannot leave well enough alone, or stumble from one impulsive behavior to another. Themes all to familia-r in mediation.

Alfie II

Caught its remake with Jude Law, a younger Michael Caine. In this movie, he was likewise dumped for a younger man. The theme is, of course the same.  "What's it all about?"  It was further clarified with his excuse, "Didn't mean to hurt anybody" to which the wise old man admonished, "Think before unzipping." Could not be clearer than that!

These are the stuff keeping mediators busy- male-female, and now male-male/female-female relationships in and out of marriage. All's fine, too, in the end, hopefully.

Times A-changing

Inquirer reported that "Kamikaze shrines in Mabalacat draw Japanese tourists." Maybe they are saying, "Kami kasi ito." Who would have thought in the 1940s that this was possible?

Indeed, time heals all wounds, physically more so. Mediation is another step in that direction.

Con-Tempt

The Senate detention chamber cannot accommodate all the B-Inay! contemptees who did not appear when summoned by the Blue Ribbon Committee. The overflow will go to the Pasay City Jail.

While tempting, evasion of responsibility is never a good thing.  That is true in mediation, too.

Mediator Electorate

Combinations like Grace-Mar or Chiz make me reflect that we, the voters mediate among all these interested parties. Hopefully, we do so mindfully and not hands full of paper bills. The common good should be the ultimate winner, as it is supposed to be, not the common-looking candidate.

Slo(mo)th

Seeing GMA NewsTV show Born to be Wild's feature on the sloth, I couldn't help wondering if this animal got its name from the cardinal vice, or vice-versa.  It was climbing tree branches like it were doing Zen or yoga movements.

If people went about their emotions and actions in such slo-mo, perhaps there would be less need for mediation.

Con-tests Ga-lore

After the Pacman fever, it was Asia's Got Talent that enthralled the nation with 4 finalists!!!! Out of their own shadows, El Gamma Penumbra became the new toast of regional entertainment with a cause. And just like another finalist, classical singer Gerphil Flores, El Gamma was also finalist in Pilipinas Got Talent. Just like some recycled beauty contestants, too.

Just goes to show that judgment varies, as per judge.  That is why mediation dispenses with their services and leaves it up to the disputants to settle their conflict by themselves, as facilitated by the mediator

Mediation Script

Mediation "Forevermore" in my blood, I thought of a joint venture as the way out of this soap's landowners fighting over use of their real estate properties. True enough, it was brought about in the succeeding episodes.

A just and fair compromise can always be reached between the landowner and the developer.

Yeah Yeah Meal

Balesin Island resort met its nemesis in Mrs. Consunji. Consumisyon talaga! For once, we have a mistress taking up the cudgels for her staff. A far cry from another who used to make her househelp a walking ironing board.

Rights of labor and of persons in general are the common subjects for mediation.

Con-fidentiality

Now B-Inay! pleads confidentiality of his Amlac bank records. Am not so lucky, he should say. Confidentiality likewise led to the crash of that Germanwings plane by a depressed pilot whose psychological records were kept secret by Lufthansa.

Sometimes confidentiality just protects cons. Not so inside mediation, where there is precisely open communication that hopefully leads to conflict resolution.

Cliches

B. C., part of Inquirer's Comic Relief never fails to contribute to my quota of laughter a day. One time, it featured an Early Bird who met a worm  but left it in peace, not pieces. Relieved and reprieved, the worm said, "Thank goodness, 'cliches' have yet to be discovered." Nowadays, cliches lead to glitzes.

That is why mediation comes between the early/angry bird and the worm.

Bergoglio con Castro

Another case of self- mediation is happening in the Vatican. Actually started by St. John Paul II accompanied by the present Pope when still a bishop of Buenos Aires, talks with Cuba's communist leader, Raul Castro continues.

What a mediator model, the Vicar of the Greatest Mediator!

Reds-handed

No typo there. Referring to the Inquirer news item bannered "Red leaders arraigned for 1980s 'purge killings'." Like mafia treatment of traitors to its omerta code, the leftist National Democratic Front allegedly had shallow graves for suspected government spies among its ranks. "Cadres (were recently arraigned) in court."

Sometimes, despite all the good intentions of helping others, people can get extreme; hence, the term extremist. And the need to go the middle ground of mediation. Not six feet under.

Kardashing

Mother Kris K is a referee to her five daughters. Sounds familiar? One time, Kourtney sent a cease-and-desist order to Kim re the latter's plan to include sibs in her video game. Kris told Kim maybe it is a matter of approaching the hormonal pregnant Kourtney.

Could be another day job for Kris upon retirement- mediation!

Ottawa Naman Diyan

With Pnoy in Canada, it seems the host is having the last laugh. Some 50 container vans of their garbage are rotting away in Manila. In our subdivision, you cannot throw them even on empty lots!

Neighborhood problems can be mediated, starting at the baran-gay level. Trouble can ensue from such concerns as parking, noise and market stall positioning, I tell you but I guess you already knew!

Chemical Warfare

Not about Vietman nor Afghanistan, but ironically about Yang Sang (Cantonese for "caring for mankind") traditional Chinese medicine shops of the warring Eu family. Prescribed such medicine when she felt body pains while in Singapore for a lecture, Inquirer columnist and Ateneo's Family Business Development Center board member Queena Lee-Chua traced the beginnings of the Eu family business in tin mining. When workers turned to opium for pain relief, Eu Kong offered them herbs instead.
Now, the only existing business of the Eu family that survived their intramurals is that of medicine.

Mediation sees a lot of these families. Sounds familiar, indeed!

Bitter Bettors

After Mayweather, bettors are now hounding Pacman. It seems he should have revealed the problem with his shoulder which could have affected his performance in the ring.  Maybe they want a rebet?

Another job for maydiation!

Image

Have you read the psychological report supposedly done on the Apostles? Judas was the most recommended! I remembered it after reading a daily Gospel reflection by the Claretians where Peter was described as "a shuffler, a snob, a coward- in a word, a man...(on which) the historic Christian Church was founded- a weak man."

Likewise, never judge disputants in mediation. They might surprise you with their capacity to forgive, to compromise and commit to their settlement.

Kilos Maralita

Today's Senate hearing on B Inay! had a positive note. Aside from legislation that should curb corruption, informal settlers now have taken action regarding their relocation. Not by throwing stones at enforcers of demolition, but by working with government on their safer on-site relocation.

Now, that is self-mediation!

A Lifetime of Unhappiness

Peter Wallace's column "Like It Is" had this title one day. Nobody likes this and all do what they can to avoid it. Unhappiness, not the column lol!

Referring to marred marriages, it could also apply to life in general. Unhappiness is most often traced to some kinks in relationships. And mediation offers a solution.

Sure prize, sure prize

Not Money's day, Manny got a sore prize today! But we digress on this momentous day. We are referring to a letter of Ramon Torrefranca to the Inquirer editor entitled "Delays in court are no longer a surprise."

But they don't have to be. Delays of cases in court could have been avoided if they were not filed in the first place. That is the role of mediation- to reach a settlement of the conflict before litigation.

Family Band-age

The Velosos bonded in Indonesia and on their return, banded with Migrante on Labor Day in Manila. Are they being used once again after their kin Mary Jane became a drug mule? If they had won a talent contest, one could have suspected them of lingering in the limelight till showbiz beckons. Instead of just keeping to themselves in private gratitude to God and the universe for the temporary stay on Mary Jane's execution.

In mediation, both disputants have only each other to be grateful for.

The City of Pining

Pining was our former family dentist. This is not about her but Baguio. There, another arbitration decision was met by an uproar. The conflict between BCDA, the Bases Conversion and Development Authority, and the Camp John Hay Development Corporation. Caught in the crossfire like children of divorced parents are numerous investors. Among them, the Inquirer meaningfully found a "Mr. Goodman, a New Zealand native investing P22M of his savings in two Forest Cabins." Thank God, I do not have that kind of money, otherwise I could have been Ms. Goodwoman!

Arbitration sub-parties were allegedly "not even informed about the dispute and problems" and "the feuding parties failed to protect them from the conflict." As they say, buyers beware! This is another job for Supermediator!!!

Down the Arbitration Drain

Inquirer Biz Buzz featured the deadlock between MWSS and water concessionaires Maynilad and Manila Water on the ruling of an arbitration panel ruling. Perhaps they should shudder at the word arbitrary which means autocratic or despotic,
according to Merriam-Webster.

So unlike mediation, where the MWSS and the concessionaires could have set their own conflict resolution which could have then more chances of being followed.

Voting The Chosen One

AFP reported on Hong Kong's "roadmap for leadership elections. That ruling stated that candidates for chief executive must be first be approved by a loyalist committee"
That seems to be a path to perdition!

Disputants are free to choose their own settlement of the conflict, guided by a mediator. Now, that is the way to peace.

Sounding Off The Mind

We have all seen affidavits and are familiar with the legalese. One phrase that is often included is "of sound mind," especially when crucial to the affidavit. Such was the bone of contention in a case in Iowa as reported by the New York Times News Service. The husband of a woman with Alzheimer's was accused of raping her in the nursing home. In the end, he was found not guilty.

Present day mediation involves such current issues.

Jumpy to Conclusion

Reuters reported that "coffee spill behind Serbian president's jet scare." It seems "the copilot spilled coffee on the instrument board," and not "engine failure, as blamed initially."

Mediation likewise goes to the root of the dispute, and not just the usual cause/ excuse.

Babalik-an Ka Rin

Now comes Binay Junior pleading the Supreme Court that all the allegations against him have been blotted out by his reelection as mayor. This injustice is traced to a condonation provision the Philippines had adapted from the United States. At the same time, the AFP reports that the "bookkeper of Auschwitz", ...Oscar Groening, 93, will be tried on 'accessory to murder' charges in 300, 000 cases of deported Hungarian Jews who were sent to the gas chambers, and faces up to 15 years jail,...70 years after the liberation of the concentration camps at the end of World War II." The German arm of the law is certainly longer than that of the Philippine's.

Mediation's coverage is likewise  far-reaching, up to cases pending in the Supreme Court.

What's In A Name

The name on my birth certificate was Luz Consuelo but I was baptized Lorna.  Light and Consolacion in aloneness! Now comes Mischief Reef on West Philippine Sea where the Chinese are up to its name. Then, the Sablayan Prison with so many irregularities.

Mediation, on the other hand, means intermediary. Enough said.

Another Record

This song could be the theme song of mediation. It goes like this: "Don't be afraid, I can meet you half-way... whenever we imagine"

Truly, mediation could involve fear of the unknown, unbeaten path other than the usual litigious way. Rather, it leads the disputants to compromise toward a fair and win-win settlement of their conflict. That requires a little creativity in deed.

Wor"l"d Records

Side by side with the news of the expanding reclamation of China over the corrals on the West Philippine Sea, PH mothers dealt with their own bad tidings by putting their babies in ecologically correct cloth diapers. At least, PH is winning in the Guinness Book of Records.

More important is the winning streak of court-annexed mediation. Its success rate ranges from 80-90%!

Manghihilo/t

Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD related this incident in his Sunday Inquirer column. A village healer suddenly lost his clientele when a prankster erased the letter "t" from his "manghihilot" sign on his front door. Fr. Jerry then asked, "Are you one who confuses ,hurts, or disturbs others? Or are you one who comforts, eases and assures others?"

Mediators belong to the second group.

Crabby Marriage

Mediation is like counseling for two or more. Couple counseling is one such example. In a Mutts cartoon by Patrick McDonnell, a doctor octopus is counseling two crabs. He says, "You need more time together to get on each other's nerves.  I suggest a horrible vacation at a horrendous location." The crabs reply, "That sounds so romantic! Thanks, Doc."

In actual mediation, you get crabby couples out of those situations!

Senior Mediation Moments

Republic Act 7432 encourages senior citizens to contribute to nation-building. One avenue wherein they can be productive and even prized is mediation. In fact, those silver strands are a symbol of their wisdom. So I tell my hairstylist, "Never say dye."

Worse, Worst Words

One of my fave songs in "My Fair Lady" was this one re Words, Words, Words. In a Daily Gospel reflection of the Inquirer c/o the Claretian Communications, it said that "four things come not back: The spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity."

Mediation is the opportunity to undo the harm caused by a past spoken word or off-target action.

A Piece of Your Mind

Father Jerry Orbos' column in the Sunday Inquirer is required reading for me. Once, he quoted somebody as saying, "It is better to give a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind."

That leads to peace in mediation.

Budji budges

Budji Layug of Budji-wara fame straddled the worlds of interior design and hair styling.  The latter he caught while training in London for the former. He is also
a barber chair mediator. In an Inquirer article, he is described thus: "Rather than avoid conflicts or criticisms, he views them as opportunities to share and learn while enriching the project. 'We all have egos, 'he said. 'And that's one thing that's constant. But in terms of creativity, if you want the idea to come out, the ego should step aside.' Rather than focus on I and me, Layug advised his audience to view collaborations as we." True enough, he was then honored by the United Architects of PH.

Precisely what mediation has been proposing all the while! Hail Budji!!!