40

The latest increment to the minimum wage is the new ab(use)- normal.

Sweet

Drinks are having a sour time.

Cramming

Before the SONA:

1. MIF signed and delivered

2. Wage increase proposed

3. Soil looked into 

4. Bantag and Teves updates

5. Travel moratorium

Seth Myers

"Back in my day, we did not ban drag shows with men in wigs and stockings. Our Founding Fathers wore them." 

"The Lady in the Van"

'You do not mark time. Time marks you.' (Alan Bennett)

Now You See It

"With a Juan Luna reappearing, could a Picasso be far behind?" (Ted Failon)

Bilibid or Not

"Fire at the MCP7O started with an exploding, stand alone (car) battery at the lower ground floor!"  (Per their investigation)

Trolls

"They don't realize their pay comes from tgeir own money." (Ted Failon)

Tom Cruise

"He did his own stunts. I grew my own moustache." (SNL host)

Lithuania

This nation donates bivalent vaccines to PH. 

Advisory Body on Inflation

Despite their huge salaries, the Secretaries of Finance, NEDA, DTI etc. need this?

"The Neighborhood"

'You forgot your anniversary? What are you, a man?!'

"Fried Green Tomatoes"

Young women took her parking space and yelled, 'We're younger and faster.'

Injured party hits the other car and yells back, 'Older with more insurance!'

"Oddball" 2

"If you want a biscuit, gotta risk it." 

"Oddball"

"No woman in your life?"

"I don't need anyone to clean up after me."

"A Perfect Fit" 2

"Putting your palm to the one who insults you while saying 'Mirror'."

"A Perfect Fit"

"When life is tough to bear, eat a gummy bear." CinemaWorld