Overseas Force Workers

The Golan guys from the Philippine Armed Forces are making us proud, like the majority of our OFWs, except the mules and the explosively/exponentially multiplying TNTs. The grit and guts of our men in uniform would come in handy when they return to the arms of Nur Misuari who has likewise resurrected.

Sometimes a change of scenery, company and schedule does good to disputants, too. This is especially applicable when heated confrontations can be cooled off by space between them. A caucus serves that purpose.

Kapusod

The three local tv stations call themselves Kapuso (of the same heart), Kapatid (sibling) and Kapamilya (of the same family). With talks about mergers, we envision a Kapusod (of the same navel).

Mediation advocates merging of the minds and hearts of disputants, too. What a more peaceful world, or even community or just a family, if members learn to compromise with the other/s.

Boxing Diplomacy

As if his platter was not yet full, Manny Pacquiao now reports from China that its government will be putting up boxing schools in his name. That is a throwback to the pingpong diplomacy between China and the US during Reagan's administration.

Mediation is likewise flexible and resourceful in the search for settlement. Both parties are encouraged by the mediator to exhaust all means to end their conflict.

Over the Counters

B(inay!) counters political persecution by his Makati opponents supposedy itching for a fight to the 2016 presidency.  But he should show us the money-less construction of buildings during his city mayoralty, as far as he was concerned.  Where's the beef of his denial?

In mediation, too, charges and counter-charges have to be based on evidence or documents easily checked.  Otherwise, we will just have a couple of checkmates.

Bought Sides Now

In college, there was a popular folksong, "Both Sides Now."  We couldn't help recalling it while watching the initial hearing on the presidential impeachment in the Batasan.

In mediation, there are both sides, too.  Hopefully, no side is bought and chances are slim, since both are actually trying to attain some edge over the other.

Red Carpet(baggers)

The Emmy's Red Carpet walked on by Hollywood's A-Listers reminded me  of a related matter- the carpetbaggers of post-Civil War shown in "Gone With The Wind," those who enriched themselves during that conflict.

Aren't some lawyers taking advantage of clients in trouble? Despite the appearance  of assistance, there is really no substance of help, perhaps even an inciting to disagreement, delaying or sabotaging a possible settlement. That is but natural because lawyers are trained for litigation. Rights above all considerations.

Wanna Change

We are one with the People's Initiative at the Luneta Park this National Heroes' Day  manifesting opposition to the pork barrel and the presidential term extension by gathering 6 million signatures. So too, with the KOMPRe Conference in Loyola Heights on reforms that the present administration can still work on during its homestretch. These movements are all aimed to benefit all of us, as well as give vent to their creativity in coming up with acronyms!

Mediation is a relatively new change in our judicial system, too.  Before, the threat was, "Talk to my lawyer" or "See you in court". Now, it is "Let's talk it over first,  before calling our lawyer or going to court."

Green Cross (Border)

This Sunday's Inquirer featured a continuation of a family feud.  Aptly, it involves their home cleaning products.  And so they are exposing their dirty laundry, unfortunately.

There had been other families who made us unwitting/ unwilling witnesses to their marital woes, from all levels of society and all reasons.  Some had attended court-annexed mediation as a required court procedure.  Others refused. How we wish they had gone to mediation before litigation and the media!

Marathon

Watching the marathon over cable of the House of Cards, I realized how politics is the same anywhere, peopled as it is by fallible human beings.

Mediation can be a marathon, too, especially with disputants lacking in goodwill and having a lot of issues.  Still, it can take less time than the notoriously slow grinding of the wheels of our courts of justice. Beating the marathon on cable, cases last longer than a season, year, decade or even a lifetime!

Caga-anan (ng loob)

Ms. Caga-anan was the Resident Auditor of Makati who attested to its Parking Building's audit clearance.  Her statement was taken by the Mayor as vindication.  However, the COA says, not so fast, we review local audits, to be fair.

Supporting evidence/relatives/friends' claims  are likewise not to be taken at face value during mediation.  Don't bank robbers  dress like valued clients? Goodwill can be had sometimes in exchange for cold cash. Mediators, be (a)ware!

Anu Anu

The untimely passing of Mork back to Ork brought about a lot of what-will-bes aside from what-could-have-beens. Enough to make his daughter get off Twitter and Instagram. His psychological problems aggravated by the onset of Parkinson's proved insurmountable. Then, the practical focused on the question of his insurance and rumored financial stress due to alimonies.  Robin Williams was on his third marriage.

These are the stuff of family mediation. While there are legal considerations one cannot get away from, outside of those parameters, family members can compromise toward an early resolution of their conflict. Then, all can experience happiness, even if not the excessve one of Patch Adams.

Circus in Town

Presidential campaign 2016 has hit the Senate. B(inay!)  Corruption charges are brushed aside as politically-motivated, hopefully beclouding the issues.  Now more than ever, we need Solomonic wisdom, not moronic.  And the survey of the Red Ribbon and Goldilocks products takes the cake given to Makati senior citizens! That's objective reality/ exhibit A.

Mediation is much like a Congressional hearing, in aid of settlement. Ferreting out the truth espoused by all sides concerned makes mediators pray for guidance that they become fair, insightful and a peacemaker out of all the conflict.

Mediating Government

Warring government branches (Executive vs. Judiciary; Judiciary vs. Congress) are like our political parents fighting it out before our eyes.  And some of us know how traumatic that was at home! Unfortunately, annulment is not an option in government, no matter how incapacitated psychologically some of its officials are!!!

A silver lining is offered by the Department of Justice' Office for Alternative Dispute Resolution. Here, mediators, arbiters, and other peacemakers are accredited to serve government entities, starting from the barangay's lupong tagapamayapa up. A dream team could be formed to settle between the President and the Chief Justice. That will be mediating the mediators!

Empowerment

As we recall the untimely death of the late DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo, we likewise celebrate his meaningful life devoted to the empowerment of people, especially the marginalized and his hometown Naga City.

That is also the aim of mediation. Actually, both sides hold the key to the success of the session.  They find their compromise, and hopefully learn how to handle future conflicts on their own.

Francis' Peace

In South Korea for the Asian Youth gathering, Pope "Francis told South Korean President Park Geun-hye that peace required forgiveness, cooperation and mutual respect. He said diplomacy must be encouraged so that dialogue could replace 'mutual recriminations, fruitless criticisms, and displays of force'." (Philippine  Daily Inquirer)

Truly the Vicar of the Greatest Mediator! He really nailed the requisites to a successful mediation.  The aggrieved party needs to accept the apology/compensation/goodwill of the other. Both sides are to work together toward the peaceful settlement of their conflict, with respect and without the blame and violence.

Nakakabagon(e)

The most recent and so far the gravest accident on the upper express sent passengers reeling back to the ground.  It's good nobody was sent to the grave, especially since the coach involved is reserved for women, especially those pregnant and accompanied by children, and the elderly.

Accidents and twists happen in mediation, too.  When the mediator least expects, some occurrence/ human factor can endanger the resolution of the conflict. It takes the insightful mediator (and both sides' goodwill) to deftly steer the session to its fruitful conclusion.

4-Gives

Yesterday's Gospel spoke of forgiveness, not 7 times but 70 times 7!  Really tough to follow
Christ!!!

Mediation requires nothing less, except perhaps in the frequency, of being able to let go, especially of blaming, getting even and exacting Portia's "pound of flesh". Otherwise, if we abide by the "eye for an eye" rule, they say we will have a world of blind wo/men.

And for those wanting to be truly Christian or just human/e, difficulty is no excuse. Start with baby steps like refraining from shouting and using cuss words at each other-a basic rule during mediation sessions.

Pickle-minded

Lo and behold, the president is headlined today to favor a second term, and therefore a requisite charter change from his present 6-year term without reelection, to a second term. This is a 180 degree turn from his previous avowed distaste for charter change.  It is also in keeping with former presidents' desire to stay in power, from Marcos to Macapagal-Arroyo, minus the first Aquino. In a way, a fermented wish. Or is it demented?

Both sides in a conflict can also change their mind, for good or for bad.  That is one reason the presence of lawyers is discouraged, because it is another factor in the decision-making,    even when both sides have just about made-up their minds, on their own.  And the lawyer's motive is not always altruistic and even if so, could likewise delay the settlement.

Change could be beneficial. The question that has to be answered, is for whom?

Fraternal/ Brotherly Correction

This article is not on fraternities, although another topic for mediation after medication and meditation. We deal today with the Gospel  reading from Matthew on brotherly correction, "...go and point out the fault to him, when the two of you are alone, and if he listens to you, you have won back your brother. If he doesn't listen to you, take with you one or two others, so the case may be decided by the evidence of two or three witnesses..."

Additional advice from The Greatest Mediator.  Nobody wants to be shamed in public, which is also told to parents bent on disciplining their children. But there are times the subject is not open, or worse, incorrigible.  So if the one-on-one caucus does not work with one disputant who may also lack goodwill,  the mediator can call the other side to gently persuade the first disputant to reason and com-promise.

Palpakan

Finally, good news of the captivity of a long-running ex-military fugitive from justice! And he was caught just in Manila, in the shadow of the presidential residence and kilometers away from the Department of Justice and the National Bureau of Investigation.

Truth will always be revealed, sooner or later, in this life or the next. And mediators are the modern-day Diogeneses, with their proverbial lamps signifying their search for what is fair, just and balanced between the sides involved in the conflict.

Gun With the Wind

Last night,  My Movie Channel featured the classic waromance, " Gone with the Wind." It depicted the Scarlett- Rhett uncivilized tension in the midst of the Civil War between the North and the South USA then. Decades later in the last century, there would be tension between East and West Berlin, North and South Korea, North and South Vietnam, and intra-Cambodia and Burma. In the Philippines, we are currently reviewing our Framework Agreement with the BangsaMoro of the South, in Mindanao. Hopefully, peace with the leftist New People's Army would follow. And so  between PH-China et al, Israel-Palestine, Russia -Ukraine, intra- Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya ... The list is epic!

Television coverage of these hotspcots reminds viewers of adults playing children's war games. "When will they ever learn?"a folk song goes. To go to war is human,  to get into mediation is divine, to paraphrase another saying.

Sell-ebration

Today is my beloved late father's birth anniversary.  He has also  been the one giving me gifts even from beyond.  This month, my alumnae group is asking me to speak on mediation as a form of public service.  I thought that was my quota for the month. But wait, just today and exactly on this day, I got a bonus via a prospective real estate deal while conversing with a schoolmate regarding her family's travails.

Such is the consolation from engaging in  helping professions like mediation and counseling.  More than the monetary benefit, it is the thought of having been a blessing to others.

By Jolly, Apology

Never underestimate the wrath of the customers scorned.  Especially of the top burger and chicken fast food chain in the country! Jollibee's apology was just the timely and  effective means to turn the tide of netizens'  "chicken sad"ness.

Companies usually issue apologies for other reasons, like for instance, intellectual property infringement. They are published in newspapers as part of the out-of-court settlement between the holder of the rights and a violator.

The cost of the advertisement is certainly much lower than the legal and court implications.

Sure Prize Surprise

After the  SONA reference to VP Binay, he expressed appreciation and the President's sisters followed suit with their support for the VP.  This turn of events caught presidential heir apparent DILG Secretary Mar Roxas by surprise, who , in knee jerk reaction, suggested the President be given a second term via an amendment to the Constitution.  

These twists and turns occur in mediation, too.  Another mediator trait is intellectual agilility that is open to out-of-the-box scenarios.  Never a square moment, we might say, on the road to settlement.

Mediator (S)Trait

Aside from a sensitive sense of humor, a mediator needs patience in untangling knotted relationships. S/he cannot just yank out or force a settlement. Unlike the Grandma's  knot  unlearned in  Scouting as the wrong way, there is a step-by-step procedure toward a just and fair negotiation.

That will hopefully lead straight to a resolution, provided both sides have goodwill, too.

Name-(Re)calling

There is a current comic character naughtily making fun of the name of  a  woman in trouble with the law.  That the comic is also a woman speaks well of all's fair in laugh
and all.

While comic relief might be welcome respite during intense mediation sessions, calling each other names is not one of them. In fact, it could be one cause of why mediation was needed in the first place.  And what has been spoken cannot be taken back.

Mediators and disputants alike are thus cautioned to be sensitive to the feelings of the other/s.

The Greatest Mediator

Peacemaking is a universal endeavor. It is badly needed nowadays all over the world, the country and the community.

Christians can refer to their Holy Bible's New Testament Gospel of St. Matthew 5, verses 25-26: "Make friends quickly with your accuser, while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly I say to you, you will never get out till you have paid the last penny."

That is our mandate from The Greatest Mediator.

Cum-Passion

Fr. Tito Caluag's Inquirer article on the Sunday Mass readings had a message for a title- "Set aside self-centered interests for the sake of others." He further "defined compassion as the ability to 'enter the chaos of the other' and to help the other make meaning out of his chaos."

How very much like mediation! The mediator as it were puts himself in the shoes of both sides to be able to see and thus understand where they are coming from. And by his example, he enjoins each side toward "setting aside his own needs for the greater good." It is "bringing out the best in others."

That is the mediator's passion.

Exhibit A-irplane

A part of the MH17 airplane was found.  Finally, we have a piece of objective reality to hold on to.

In mediation, we also search for solid ground common to both sides. In current lingo, a peg to put together all the concerns involved, the rationale to the settlement.

Me-time

Mediators like everybody else, need a day-off.  It is good to "let it go" for a day or two, enjoy the moment and savor the presence of family and fix-ins, without being on the lookout for fix-its.

Perspective likewise enables a person to soul search  and make an inventory of his values and attitudes  in aid of mediation, or not. Absence indeed makes the  mediator grow sharper.

Corift

That is spelled in the fashion of today's minimalist writing I so very much adopt! Otherwise, it would be alliterative Cory Rift. You see, I was invited by the former PCSO Chair to the Holy Mass sponsored by the Yellow Army Movement  for Cory's fifth death anniversary at the Power Plant Chapel. Then, there was the official  Mass at the Manila Memorial Park.

Children are likewise torn between two parents drifting apart. Left to their own selfish/ guilt-ridden defenses, parents tend to compete for their children's affection/ approval/manipulation.

Mediation is the middle ground where the parents can express their needs as individuals, as well as pay attention to those of their child/ren in an equitable and calm manner.  That way, they also give a good example to their child/ren on conflict resolution.