American Idioms

History cable network traced their beginnings. "Assassin," for instance, comes from "hashish," which, under its influence, drove fanatics-for-hire to their dark goals.

Things have not changed much. Drugs still lead to a life of crime, making them aggravating circumstances. Rehabilitation is their form of intervention, more than mediation.

Subtexts

The Affair watchaton on Rtl Entertainment CBS detailed its start between a novelist and a small-town waitress who saved his choking daughter. Later on, he claimed "boredom" with his wife, who retorted, "not to take that personally."

As one of the most intimate relationships, marriage can be marred by not paying attention to the fine print. Then, mediation can be availed of.

Terminal Cases

"The Terminal" movie with Tom Hanks had a timely rerun, especially in the light of current irregularities at the NAIA. One good thing that happened to Tom Hanks' character, though, was his being able to translate for a fellow foreigner also in trouble with the airport customs authority.

In life, wherever we may be, there is always an occasion to be of help to others. Mediation is one of them.

Silence

B. C. defines it as "the logical conclusion of politically correct speech."

Lkewise, peace is the effect of a well-crafted conflict resolution.

Alam mo din?

Now comes the wife of George Clooney, Amal Alamuddin pleading before the United Nations for the human rights of former Philippine President Gloria Arroyo, the latest in the series of advocacies of the international lawyer for suspicious leaders.

Does she know the human rights violations during Arroyo's administration, not to mention the corruption charges, too, which could be why she can afford A Mal's fee?

Thinspiration

As you might have guessed, this was a feature of DIVA channel on anorexia. Code name was Ana. This site goaded visitors to lose more weight by destroying their self-worth, depending only on their physical appearance- and the site.

On the other hand, mediation empowers disputants to the amicable resolution of their conflict, so that next time, they would know what to do, relying on their own resources.

Price of Spice

History channel narrated the Dutch colonization of Batavia (now called Jakarta), up to its canals patterned after Amsterdam. It also became the hub for all the products of the surrounding, different colonies. And their values then! It is said that nutmeg was worth a year's supply of bread!!! Value is also a delicate matter in mediation- reputation, prestige, family tradition, sentimental value...

Slamming the Slam

Nat Geo conducted a series of experiments on people's behavior at the door.  The video showed a tendency to slam it on the next entrant. Next, a mirror was placed
to enable seeing if there is a person behind you. Some positive results. But having a voice reminding you to keep the door open for the next person achieved best results.

So in mediation. It is second nature for disputants to be at each other's throats. They need to be reminded that the best way to deal with their conflict is in a less emotional and more rational way.

Walking the Walk

Being acrophobic, I do not fancy "The Walk" across the Twin Towers on air in my bucket list ever. But I have to hand it to the brave "walker" for all the preparation he made for that feat. He studied wind patterns and other factors. "Many times, I climbed up, disguising as an architect or contruction worker. I climbed to the roof unchallenged. I looked down to get myself used to the height. I listened with all my senses to the murmur of the city, the sirens and the noise. I looked at the lights and really got to know the buildings and much more. I called it my spy work. Eight months in New York to get to know the towers like my family. So if you were following me in all that, you would realize that there was actually no fear in the end. There was no anxiety, not something that I cultivate very much. If you see me before a meeting or an action, if you see me gathering my thoughts, you cannot approach me and say, 'Are you nervous? Are you fearful?'Because if you know me, you would know that I am preparing myself. That is concentration,to try again as a perfectionist to do the best job as possible." Mediators prepare by going through the files of the dispute, if these are available as in court-annexed mediation or the private law office. It is like doctors going over their patients' medical history. If these are not available, like with walk-in clients, mediation starts with orienting both disputants on the ground rules of the procedure so everyone knows what to expect or how to behave.

Sheldon Drives (Them) Crazy

The Big Bang Theory "scicom" is a good show to end the day laughing. In one of their episodes, Sheldon was dragged by his designated driver-friends to get his own license. Reaching the counter, the clerk asks, "Application?" Sheldon replies, "I am realy a theorist." So in mediation, too, disputants have to be on the same page, preferrably of their conflict's settlement.

Door Stoppers

Received this truly reflective text message:"Often, we look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that opened for us."

That is why in mediation, we focus more on ways to resolve the conflict amicably rather than wallow on past hurtful behavior.

Beyond the Red Carpet

Guiliana Rancic has her own E show after all the glitz of the red carpet. G & B is about her life with husband Bill. One especially touching episode was about her difficult pregnancy, which led to other ways to conceive (gestational carrier differentiated from surrogate and in vitro fertilization), then the discovery of her breast cancer during a routine physical exam.

Mediation has seen the human side of celebrities, too. Hopefully, though, it is private and confidential, and not covered by media, as seen in  those much publicized conflicts.

The Furor

History cable channel's feature on Hitler was truly a review of this man's life. It said that he was a World War veteran who bristled that the concluding Treaty of Versailles was unfair to Germany. His anger first targetted France, then the Jews in Germany.  First, he wanted them deported to the East, then Madagascar. But we all know what really happened. Another war ensued, which was described as "opening the door to a dark road." Mediation, on the other hand, engenders light to the conflict at hand.

Gag-dets

Today, am qualified to receive a new phone from my telco server. Not too excited, after Nat Geo warned that perhaps smartphones were meant for stupid people! LOL An older phone gave up on my text messages and is now confined to receiving daily Gospel reflections and being on reserve should I lose the one brought out.

Mediators are likewise amazed how relatively rational human beings and even family members can get into such tight fixes.

Crowd Control and Behavior Change

These were featured by Nat Geo. For instance, one's choice is often determined by the previous choosers, in line with conformity. To encourage the use of the stairs over the escalator, in another test, they painted the steps which produced music once trodded on, as positive reinforcement.

While the mediator cannot advice, s/he can reinforce disputants' goodwill toward each other and the resolution of their conflict.

From the 90's

Nat Geo had an insightful series on the decades past. It featured President Clinton off course.  One analyzed it thus: if you have a leak in the house, you get a plumber to do the job, no matter how his personal life goes.

So with mediation. We do not go about moralizing, when dealing with creditors. We just tackle the dispute at hand by having both sides come to a compromise schedule of payment that is doable.

Humane Dolphin

Did you see the dolphin fishing a dropped phone out of the water and returning it to its owner? Could have been a human diver!

Meantime, mediation sees a lot of beastly behavior of supposedly human beings.

Wishfun Thinking

Last in my comic strip series is my favorite, Garfield. One time, he was claiming that "Fun follows me wherever I go...Hurry up," he coaxes it.

Life is pretty much how we make it to be. Likewise mediation, while may not be fun certainly need not be toture.

By the Looks of it

In the comic strip, Ben wanted to take a picture of his elderly wife who just came out with a book. Being told she "doesn't look very 'authorly,'though", she promptly puts on his jacket with elbow patches plus a pipe."Perfect!" he says. In mediation as well as pretty much everywhere else in life, we have to watch out for a tendency to judge people based on appearance.

S/he says

Baby Blues comic strip had a young  son suggesting his dad get a tattoo to look tough. His mom retorted, not needed. "That's what his 700-hp leaf blower is for."

To each his and her way of expressing needs and wants, mediation brings about.

Going Tru The (Slo) Motion

Mutts gave some Comic Relief, as well as some insight. Mooch listed his To-Do List,
as follows: 1. Sleep in. 2. Nap on sofa. 3. Snooze in sun. Then said, "Nothin' beats the feeling  of accomplishment like checking off your to-do list!"

In contrast, mediation is purposeful and is not like just going through the motion.

You Don't Own Me

At the same time that "Etiquette for Mistresses" was showing, Kiko Machine ran a similar theme in the Comic Relief section of the Inquirer. It depicted friends already in the throes of possession- wanting to literally chain a loved one into a livid one! Then, when the thrill is gone, Etiquette demands the guilty party to pay up for the damage.

In the movie, friends, couturiers, and even the wife tried their hand at mediation. Believe it or not!

(Don't) LoveKnots

This is a comic strip in the Inquirer. Once, it dealt with an issue close to my pocket- pension. It seems its increase is being turned down by Senator Enrile due to non-affordability. Too many pensioners being added a year. The lolo retorts, aren't pensioners dying yearly, too? Those who cannot afford stem cell therapy like Enrile.

In mediation, we have to be wary of reasons put forth by disputants. We have to question if they cover the total picture or just half of it.

Oddvices

Hits also features Happy Days, indeed! Set in the 50's, the male teenager lead asks several persons on how best to deal with his ROTC troop as its commander. His father tells him to make his men happy, the school head suggests being strict, and his friend demonstrates how to just be cool. Unsuccessful after trying out each of the conflicting recommendations a day, the boy gives up his post!

That is the reason behind the ban on advices in mediation. Disputants are to decide how they will resolve their conflict, which will also ensure more chances of it being implemented by them.

Re-view

The Ombusman has called on the Department of Budget and Management to account for its past disbursements. Secretary Abad-man and assistant Relampagos might be made "lampasos."

The mediator is like an ombudsman when it comes to conflicts between individuals, families or groups.

Perchance

Our Gilas (Smart) team to the recent FIBA tournament in Changsha, China ended with their last game versus the host country's team. Of course, like in the West Philippine Sea, they were defeated.

Sometimes, conflict in one area affects another, much like a disease. Family relations, for instance.

Paying the Price

In the comic strip Baby Blues, the father was preparing his young son for the future when "you're going to be part of the problem, or part of the solution." The pragmatic son asks,"Which one pays better?"

We pay the price either way.

Relativity

In the movie "Transamerican Ride," one character remarked that "Beauty is relative; well, not mine." His family could not accept his sex change.

How like Bruce now Caitlyn Jenner! She has now turned mediator between other transgenders especially those in their teens, and their families and friends.

Still At D. Abbey

"Does it get cold in your high moral ground?" Now this is true Downton Abbey conversation between conflicting dowagers over their own community clinic. Mediation sometimes involves good-natured and intentioned individuals with different ways of going about it.

Catch

Hits cable has brought back Cheers to my life. In one episode, someone said, "He's such a catch," to which another retorted, "Oh yeah, so is a bass." There will always be different interpretations of words, more so if people are not on the same page.

Downturn Abbey

Missing Turner Classic Movies in my Cablelink server, I was happy that it featured "Downton Abbey" though. In its recent episode, a young widow of the 1920's had a most modern remark, "Better alone than with a wrong man!" Attitudes have not changed much, as mediation witnesses.