Education

Philippine Business for Education traces the low ranking of PH students in the region to the low standard of education of their teachers themselves.

Tumor

"Tomorrow morning when you wake up..." (Knock knock joke from "Through Day and Night")

Sunset

Being called sunset by someone is not so flattering. "Palubog yun." (Through Day and Night) 

FPRRD

The acronym for Duterte looks like that for Disaster Response 

Palakasan

The term for sports can also mean getting ahead of others in more ways than one.

Good Samaritess

 Vloggers on your side (Ted Failo)

Alulod ng Masa

 Ted Failon teases their role in helping others.

Tol Order

Senator Tolentino's resignation from the Blue Ribbon Committee, they say, is more to keep peace with the administration than his stated timeshare agreement with another Senator.

Order

Senator Tolentino's resignation from the Blue Ribbon Committee, they say, is more to keep peace in preparation for his re-election, than his admitted time-sharing agreement with another Senator.

K- Init

 Usual coverage of Divisoria sales included pull-overs!

DepEd

 They need help themselves in Math (to update contribution premiums of teachers) and Spelling (sattelite in recent statement). 

Chacha

 No need for dunces in Congressto dance this as they now give fake PH passport and ID to foreigners.

Tony Blair

The UK Prime Minister was nicknamed Tony Bliar during his term. (The Crown) 

Batasan

Now they want more people and on longer terms! 

Ligao no more

The city now boasts a Bicol University!

Projection

Defense mechanism of red-tagger SMNI establishing a contract with Chinese Government TV

Trillanes

 "Parang mag-asawa yan. Pag sinagot ang babae na nagtanong, Maghihiwalay ba tayo, nang lalaki na, pag-aaralan ko, matakot ka.

Ivan the Terrible

 Scary nickname of Nazi concentration camp was given to suspected Ivan Demjanjuk of Cleveland, Ohio. Deported to Israel where his trial acquitted him, part two was held in Germany, where he died awaiting an appeal. A terrible mistake or ruse?

Malinaw na Hilaw

The Jeepney Modernization Program seems to have several items on the agenda.

1. Sell imported Chinese vehicles to replacement. 

2. Resell confiscated franchises to favored parties.

One compared it to a "shotgun wedding."

Sigh yang

Throwing away tomatoes and strawberries such a waste of sauce and jam!!!

SMNI

NOT in ABS- CBN shoes now! No comparison 

Along comes Polong

 As Davao Rep., he was implicated by his father who claimed Congress as most corrupt part of government.

Like father

Daughter Sara is now being asked by the Supreme Court to explain her Confidential Funding.

Sub poena

Duterte claims not to have received it but sends his lawyer on slated date of hearing!

Omid

 Scobie do, made a mess!

Maya Angelou

"Every storm runs out of rain."

ICC

"You can come but we are not cooperating with you." PH stance on shaky ground

Obama

He relaxed the tuxedo dress code for WH butlers, as it did not go with their informal lifestyle. The girls were also to fix their own beds, in preparation for when they leave.

Obama daughter

On seeing streets cleared for the Inauguration: "Nobody's going to your party, Dad." 

PH

"Fastest growing"- in debt!

Johnny

"What can you do aside from breaking the law?" 

Congressman

 This one has all the time to come up with the idea of selling eggs by the kill-oh!

Wife

"She doesn't understand me."

"Well, learn Swahili."

Martini

"Want it shaken?"

"No, just paid."