Ranch 24

"Yoghurt is to ice cream as Canada is to the US."

Ranch 23

"Done house-hunting. Not right if I can't shoot at one in the end." 

Ranch 22

"When was the last time you flew?"

"The fall of Vietnam."

Ranch 21

"Who builds an Arby's across a hospital?"

Ranch 20

"Baby-on-board referred to the driver."

Ranch 19

"You make me want to be a better badass."

Ranch 18

"They're operating on my heart, why do I have to take off my pants?"

Ranch 17

"The good news, they found out he has a heart."

Ranch 16

"Better to have a difficult conversation than none at all."

Ranch 15

"World War II was the only excuse for Americans to go to France."

Ranch 14

"If I see you when I wake up, I know I didn't die."

Ranch 13

"Am keeping my distance."

"By court order?"

Ranch 12

"I feel you're making a mistake."

"Also what your mother said in our wedding toast."

Ranch 11

"The more you drink, the better I sound."

Ranch 9

"Am all ears. (wearing a Mickey Mouse cap) "

Ranch 8

"Environmentalists- can't believe I'm being bought by the same people I admire."

Ranch 7

"Maybe I can be Nana. No, sounds like an old goat."

Ranch 6

"What's with all the blondes? Is it Vikings Day?"

Ranch 5

"She's got a gun and not afraid of prison. I'm terrified."

Ranch 4

"1st, I disagree. 2nd, you're wrong."

Ranch 3

"Elena had green eyes, not her car."

Ranch 2

"Kept computer for 6 months, then used its box as desk for typewriter"

Ranch

"Magic of divorce- you blame me, I don't give a shit."

This is Us 14

"Twisted so many arms, almost broke some."

This is Us 13

"Written in the stars or Written together."

This is Us 12

"Mirrors in dance studio isn't just for seeing yourself. It is to correct mistakes."

This is Us 11

"People only pay attention once it leaks. Water pressure has been building up over time."

This is Us 10

 "She didn't suck the air out of the room. She was the air."

This is Us 9

"Wasted a lot of time being quietly terrified."

Foreign Direct Investments

"Tumaas daw so bakit pa mag- Cha Cha?" (Ted Failon 2)

BBM Trips

"Labis, lavish" (Ted Failon)

Robert Downey, Jr.

"I would like to thank my terrible childhood..." (Oscar award acceptance speech)

This is Us (8)

"They spell out OB- GYN, why not CARD or DERM"

This is Us (7)

"First boyfriend is like the first waffle, gets better in time."

DNS

"It means 'Do Not Sell' in garage sale." (This is Us 6)

This is Us (5)

 "You're the horseradish in my Bloody Mary."

This is Us (4)

 "We cannot control destiny but can choose with whom we'd like to spend it with."

Belligerent

"Like raising Russell Crowe" This is Us (3)

This Is Us Part 2

"Life feels like PacMan sometimes. Day in, day out, same thing." 

Genius: MLK/X

"Don't be afraid of your past." Malcolm X was so used to the noise at prison, that after getting out, he couldn't sleep in a quiet room till he opened the window to the street noise below.

Genius: MLK/X

"Civil disobedience is not a strategy.  It's a way of life." 

This is Us

"Why did the IPad go to the dentist?"

"She had BlueTooth."