Hollow Win

Court cases can be a matter of dirty tricks of lawyers and treats for judges. So a win can be hollow, taking into consideration overhead expenses, broken hearts, families, relationships.

Mediation lessens all of the above, and therefore increases the value of settlement.

Out-standees!

After standees of Pope Francis came out in anticipation of his visit January 2015, those of VP Binay followed soon after, in preparation for Elections 2016. Smacks of blasphemy?!

Mediators should be wary of people standing in for others, or copying their behavior.

Red(light) Tide

Again, my hometown Subic is in the news. Again, it is unsavory. Again, ground zero is along Magsaysay Avenue, our local Wanchai or 42nd Avenue.

This time around, the cast includes, aside from the usual American serviceman, a transgender and a German fiance. An ironically morbid event surrounding United Nations Day, representing the LGBT community.

Again, emotions rose, the American is detained in an American container-office in a Philippine camp, at least not in the US Embassy.

The Visiting Forces Agreement is again for review or scrap by the Senate in this stale-mate.
What a challenge for mediation!

Ignorant Bliss

Daisy Reyes's life was featured on GMA News TV. Rising from being a Pateros country girl to an international beauty queen, what was touching, too, was how she was unaffected by mean, unfounded rumors. One reason she put forth was that she didn't know then the meaning of "whore."

Ignorance is a costly mistake. Mediation evens up unequal sides by treating them both fairly and justly.

Give Give Give Give

In a documentary on how the brain functions, GIVE was lined up four times in a column.

That is, forgive! The mediator in me got it right away. Indeed, it is an essential element in the mediation process.

The Trial

Thanks to senior citizenship, cinema is free Monday and Tuesday. My choice last week was The Trial, obviously for the judicial point of view on rape perpetuated allegedly by a special young man.

The psychologist could have been the mediator as she was acquainted with both sides. She was closer for a longer time to the supposed rape victim's family, while her son was a friend of the "rapist." So, in the moviehouse, I felt like redoing the script!

New Look at Dracula

Even vampires deserve a second look.  So with villains in mediation. Nobody is all good nor all bad.

Tallado Panalo

The wife of a Bicol government official had become our local "Gone Girl," a recent movie about a woman in conflict. Her husband's extra-marital affair exposed in social messia drove the wife to flee the conjugal abode for dear life.

Mediation provides a sanctuary for partners in conflict. There, battered mates can seek refuge, equal treatment and fair settlement, without tri-media, lawyers and deadly arms.

Looking (at self) Glass

Another showbiz break-upper Katrina Halili reasoned out that they had to first take a long hard look at themselves, before doing so at each other. Philosophically simple!

Mediation says likewise. Heed first the three other fingers pointing at self, before the two aimed at the other!

Moving On

Off-screen, actors can teach us about life, too.  Especially about their much publicized loves more colorful than Kodak. While there were those who threw in the towel and took their own life, the majority seem to bounce from bed to bed. One local actress gave an insight- somehow moving on is easier when you have somebody to replace the lost one.

In mediation, goodwill toward the other party is likewise made doable by replacing the blame game with an "examination of one's conscience" or contributory part in the contlict.

Man's (In)humanity to Man

Les Miserables is a timeless story of human nature. In the midst of poverty and revolution, goodness springs eternal.

So with conflict, which has been around since Eden. Then again, so have second chances, forgiveness and redemption by the Greatest Mediator.

Daughter-in-Law Mediation

It takes Gutz to be a Gutierrez daughter-in-law. So Sarah Lahbati found out, from the time she first met Annabelle Rama. And until now that she is patching up Annabelle with Mrs. Lahbati after a misunderstanding during the christening. Magbati na kaya sila?

Mediation can be informally done in society's basic unit and therefore initial source of conflict. All it takes is willingness by both parties to spread goodwill around.

McGyver of Dispute

A long time ago, there was a tv series about a very resourceful and creative equalizer whose name's spelling escapes me now but has since been the tag for problem-solvers, especially of the extraordinary variety.

Mediators can likewise be called McGyvers of Disputes, giving of their ingenuous expertise toward the resolution of conflict.

Solar Box

Superman's sidewalk closet has been updated. London's red telephone booths have gone green and solar!

Mediation has kept up with the times, too. Disputants seeing red and charging to lawyers and the court, are now encouraged to first calm down, sit with the other side/s and resolve their conflict/s.

Kind of a Church

The Philippines will once again be blessed by a papal visit in January 2015.  The theme chosen was " Mercy and Compassion."

Such should also be theme in mediation.  Justice, of course, has to be tempered by consideration of the means of disputants to settle conflicts, as well as rising above past
 ill feelings.

Chronic Problems

Chronic Inc., an Ontario, Canada company shipped 50 container vans of garbage to Manila. The local consignee, Chronic Pastics, true to its name, slid off into denial and oblivion.

Another chronic problem sailed into Subic this time, offloading American sailors into Olongapo's red light district. A transgender was murdered soon after.

Philippine hospital-ity is good for tourism; bad for our state respect. However, respect starts with self/state, for others to follow. So in mediation, too, disputants should be on equal footing, and if not, the mediator becomes the equalizer.

Power Sharing

This morning's GMA NEWS TV featured business leaders announcing a more literal power sharing, of the electric kind.  In anticipation of next year's deficit in electriity sources, big industrial companies are offering to use their own generators to lessen the load of the national grid.

Mediation's power sharing is two-prong.  The mediator empowers both disputants to decide on how best to resolve their conflict.  Each side is likewise encouraged to meet the other side halfway and in goodwill.

Dolphin Tail 2

A wholesome and heartwarming movie, for once, was shown recently, Dolphin Tale 2.  It was about its tail, too, a prosthetic replacement.

Mediation is remedial, too. It replaces lost goodwill between family, company or community members.

Kagemusha

My Movie channel gave a Sunday treat-a historic Japanese epic. It reminded us of an American movie, too, regarding a double for an indisposed/deceased head of state.

Mediators have to likewise check on the identity of disputants, as well as the veracity of their claims.

The Cake Lady Sings

Today, we saw the picture of the address declared by Makati's supplier of cakes for seniors,  a small sidewalk eatery. Meantime, Senator Nancy Binay, accused of being the power behind the cake, nonchalantly  declared that she might as well open a bakeshop.

In mediation, there are also masters (and mistresses) of evasion, hoping to break the spirit and perseverance of the other side. Hopefully, there are also intrepid elements (like media, in the case of the cakes) who will expose the truth.

Binay and the Bag-ubos

This morning's Inquirer front page picture of Binay was ominous. With a smirk, he looked like he was having the last laugh over the Senate inquiry into his alleged corruption while still running Makati. Well today, he was photographed with his hands being raised by the Bagobo chieftains, while still maintaining an allergic reaction to the Senate invitation.

Mediators are likewise advised to be wary of diversionary tactics of disputants, as well as their squid ink strategies to escape the issue/s at hand and block/blacken the search for truth, justice and fairness.

Mob Rule

Queena Lee-Chua's column "All in the Family" coincidentally featured a reformed Mafia boss who has since written a book, "I'll Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse." Surprisingly this time, ex-capo/convict Michael Franzese extolled the value of integrity. He wrote, "had I closed it down and gotten out early, I might have saved myself a stretch in prison and millions of bucks in fines and legal fees. But greed kept me locked in the game."

Another example of "crime does not pay." And a point for mediation! "Plea bargaining" before it's too late.

Greek to me

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding"  was an interesting peek into their culture. An aunt had a refreshingly feminist view on gender-if men are the heads, then women are the necks. We turn them which way we want! How true.

Mediation is likewise a fresh look on life.  Disputants are encouraged to view their non-working relationships and try ones that do.

Age Appropriate

Youthful singing sensations, mostly winners of contests, bring up the issue of content of their songs. Kris Aquino pointed out, after a tween boy warbled about "making love the whole night through," thst maybe the words could have been "having fun the whole night through."

In mediation, we have young, insightful practitioners, too. As elderly disputants frown on younger mediators, perhaps the latter are more effective with disputants nearer their age (or farther from their parents' image.)  But then again, in these times of May-December relationships, sometimes age does not matter when it comes to rage matter.

Power Age

There is balance in nature. Those challenged by today's gadgets have their own innovative minds to make sense of their situations- whizdom. Brahma Kumaris is calling "like-minded people dedicated to aging with power and wisdom, through creative activities and conversations."

Precisely what mediation is, lending an ear and"wise cracks" to troubled disputants so they can reolve their differences.

Truth and Consequence

The unfortunate slaying of  the mother of actress Cherry Pie Picache seems to be drawing to its just resolution. A newly hired day helper is implicated, with a history of other crimes and his disappearance after the murder.

Disputants can avoid responsibility for actions only up to a certain time. Truth has a way of revealing itself, aided by cctv cameras at present.

Glitches

Had a Hot Flash experience with my tablet the other day. Not re men-oh-pause, but gadget malfunction. This woman of curtain age blogged really early Sunday, cut it short and saved it for a sunny day. Later, couldn't retrieve the half-blogged issue, which was overtaken by other errands the next few days.

In mediation, we have these twists and turns that crop up, too. It is important to stay the course and not allow distractions like emotional outbursts and irrelevant info to destruct the momentum toward resolution.

Boses ng Bosses

In a survey, 6 out if 10 Filipinos thumbed down President Noy's wishfool thinkering of the Constitution to give him a second term.  Terminated.

Mediation is much like a surevey reality check. It lets disputants face the mirror, as it were, in order to best deal with the conflict in a fair and calm manner.

Cheap, PNP

The Chief of the Philippine National Police is not cheap as far as his possessions are concerned. While his men are ill- equipped/housed/and hospitalized, their Chief got donors to refurbish his official residence and lend him a bulletproof SUV, and farmers to sell him their hectares of land.

In mediation, too, there is a need for dealings to be transparent and above board. Better to be upfront rather than be confronted with facts to the contrary.

Wee Men

Queen Latifah had outstanding women guests tonight. Opener was Gloria Steinem, who really opened doors and broke ceilings in the 60's. Next came Rita Moreno, who danced into our lives from Puerto Rico to West Side Story. Arianna Huffington related how she questionned her success when she literally fell flat on her face from fatigue and laid on her pool of blood.  Melissa Harris-Perry wrote a letter to the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls and adopted their cause in #bringbackourgirls.

Women are more than half of the population we deal with in mediation, especially involving family.  They are more vocal now and know what they want. However, there are still some who are unfortunately subject to abuse and oppression. Mediators can empower them.

Hot Flashes

DIVA cable showed a different bevy of divas in "Hot Flashes." Women "of a certain age" led by Brooke Shield's character formed a ragtag group to challenge a school's young women's basketball team, to raise funds for cancer prevention.

Mediators "of a certain age" could identify with the Hot Flashes, that's not with a "u." Maybe not in basketball, but in mediation, age is a plus factor. Hopefully, it comes with respect, if not wisdom. As I tell my hairstylist, "Never say 'dye.' I need those silver strands for work!"