Sins of the Daughter

We should emulate the ethics of our Asean neighbors. Resignations are not only courteous but moral. There is a willingness to admit guilt, even on suspicion. Andsanguinity, as proven by the recent South Korean bruha-ha over nuts. The chief executive father of the involved airline executive, sadly a woman,  took the rap for his nutty daughter. She was not spared, though and neither was Korean Air.

Such swift action even in business! Mediation is like-minded, trying to help push the wheels of justice a little faster by lessening its load of cases. Prevention is the cure.

Rob It

Not a fan of fantasy, I watched the "Hobbit" movie as last choice.  Uninitiated to the franchise, my sleepy eyes after lunch were met by a parade of characters. When all else fails, just get the "diez" is my motto. So after the warfare, a magical crystal charm was returned. Or did it end the war? Or did I fall asleep? lol

Mediation is sometimes like a "long and winding road," too. Break it down, before it leads to a breakdown of individuals, relationships and groups.

For Sight

Now come firecrackers impounded at the Bureau of Customs therefore imported, but with Made in Bulacan, PH seal!!! Really enterprisingly ingenuous, Chinese mano- 2x facturers came up with this way out if ever their 'crackers were about to be confiscated in Bocaue. Too bad, they never reached their end point. Good for their prospective victims and the government!!!

Mediators should remember this incident when sifting through claims of disputants. There could be like-minded pre-meditation, and not of the Zen type!

Cain ng Cain

No, this is not about Pacman. Referring to biblical siblings in conflict. Cain started it all, right from the beginning.  Isaac was lucky to be unico hijo, with Sarah anyway, and was almost a goner. Then down the line to Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brooders...

As we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family today, let us reflect on the State of the Family today.  Too many are in need of mediation, among others. Has always been.

Another Look at Cancer

From "60 Minutes" again, a Dr. Soon Shiong has a revolutionary take on cancer. After spending his own money on lab equipment that test cancerous cells, he concludes that these do not die like normal cells do, so the cure is to freeze them to death! Other remedies have just agitated and scattered them, he says. With the accompanying discomfort and other ill effects, too.

What a hopeful lifeline for patients to hold on to! They should not be asked to be more of their calling. Mediation, too, allows disputants to see issues from a different perspective, mostly from the other and the right side/s, thus alleviating their burden.

Studying Stalling

"60 Minutes" once featured a North Carolina company, Duke, in a river pollution complaint. When interviewed, Duke stated it was studying it. Someone commented that it was just another word for stalling.

Watch out for these delaying and evading tactics in mediation, too. Ask them to tell it as it is, to specify their plan and how they will implement this.

Santa for Real

In Brazil, there is more than samba this season. Cable news featured their about 500 post offices encouraging children to write in their wish lists. Donors, on the other hand, were welcome to drop in and choose which to grant. Processing followed in the post office, up to delivery. Sana for real dito din.

This is another out-of-the-box practical solution to one of today's problems. Mediation is another.

Pyraidmiding

No scam, just a prelude to the MMFF buffet of bore and gore! "The Pyramid" was one of this year's last choices for viewing by senior citizens. It was alright till strange creatures came out of the shadows. After the show, talk in the ladies' room ranged from amusement, disgust, regret, to gratitude for the free movie, anyway, in cool aircon comfort siesta time.

Sometimes in mediation, there are also disputants who are never satisfied nor grateful. Perhaps, that is the reason they are in mediation in the first place!

Uninvited Tiger

Check out tales for children-in-adults, too. This particular one had the elephant literally lording over the jungle. As usual, the smaller bodies and minds were fawning over him. They decide to pay Christmas homage and gather food for the feast at the elephant's lair. Except the feared tiger, who was banned from the plan.
Of course, the elephant didn't have EQ and promptly ate it all. So on Christmas Eve, they had no pie, nothing. Tiger to the rescue who said, "Don't be frightened, I only want to have you for dinner," which led to a stampede. "No, I' m inviting all of you to have Christmas dinner with me!"

That's clearer. Idioms, semantics, lingo can get in the way of understanding each other, as well as preconceived notions, biases, prejudices. Mediation should be above all these. Keep it simple, direct, straight-to-the-point. No Miss Understanding lol

Out-Standee Father

The price of fame and fortune is often being absent from family milestones, when you are miles away. Richard Yap of "Be Careful With My Heart," follows that title's advice. When he is away on location shooting during birthdays and anniversaries, the family poses with his resident standee at home and he is present in selfie, at least.

That is a creative way out of family LQs, and EQ in practice.  Mediation likewise promotes such ways out of simple but really frustrating situations, in varying degrees

Single Only, Please

Jennylyn Mercado is one tough cookie-actor. She is enjoying single motherhood, after getting over childhood abuse from a stepfather and the more recent heartbreaks, one involving physical abuse again. She is now in an MMFF entry, "English 0nly, Please."

She could be the poster person for women rising like the phoenix from abuse of any (un)kind. She is a natural, reveling in acting like she really is in the movie. "Got to be myself," could be the mantra of anyone in relationship mediation.

Counting Losses

Alopecia is stress-related baldness.  This experience was recounted in an Inquirer article by a female holdup victim.  Because of her gender, her condition was not kinder. Tired and emotionally sick of watching her crowning glory literally go down the drain, she gathered the guts and a friend to have her top fully sheared.

We see such "slow death" and wrenching pain especially in mediating relationships. And as this American once told Marcos during EDSA I, it might be "time to cut and cut clean."

Pure-is-he-ba?

After PNP Chief Purisima is finally suspended, he now chooses the implementing office.  His lawyers prefers the Napolcom over the LGU! Too bad for them, both are headed by one person, Mar Roxas.

These cheap, delaying tactics can also happen in mediation. Like in grieving, persons of interest also go through denial and compromise before acceptance. Mediators, after all are counselors for two.

Ashley Mad-ison

This person has upped the anti on cyber immorality. Righting  a wrong with another wrong (person), dissatisfied mates are urged to seek other prime mates. In one Sunday Inquirer column, George Sison played adviser and suggested the concerned person just seek permission from partner before philandering.  Who knows, partner might ask why and repent, improve, atone...

Advice is not mediation, but help nonetheless. It is imposed, no matter how enlightened.  It is alien to the couple, and may not be doable by them. Neither is it empowering, and the couple could be back for more advice, as chances of their implementing the original advice  is slim.

Wrinkled Gift

In keeping with the season's tradition, the Garfield cartoon featured John deciding on a gift for his vet friend Liz. How about an anti-wrinkle cream, he asks Garfield, whose thought bubble says, "You're going to be a lonely, lonely old man." lol

Watch what you say in mediation, or elsewhere. Tact before act. The end could be either success or buttress.
 

Jolly Chimp

As if we did not have enough human rights violations, now "a New York appeals court rejected ... an animal rights advocate's bid to extend 'legal personhood' to chimpanzees, saying the primates are incapable of bearing the responsibilities that come with having legal rights." Tommy the chimp of 26 years, in solitary (shed) confinement imposed by owner Patrick (s)Lavery, "should be released to a Florida sanctuary," claimed the Nonhuman Rights Project, according to an AFP report.

If only disputants in mediation cared for each other like the Nonhuman Rights Project does for Tommy. That would just be humane!

Japanese Silence

Other than for war atrocities and the Yakuza, the Japanese people are generally known for their serenity and discipline. These are admirable traits we could emulate in our daily lives, especially in the face of calamity. And during movie screenings, as experienced by our Indie presenter recently.  All throughout the film showing, the audience was quiet, worrying him. He approached a Japanese colleague and was relieved to know that they were just intently watching, not wanting any distraction. True enough, at the end, they broke into loud applause and appreciation.

In mediation, likewise, we have to be attuned to socio-cultural as well as religious differences. Could make a difference in settling the conflict.

Refreshing Enchanted Garden

Winds of change blow gently in the Enchanted Garden of Gawad Kalinga in Bulacan. Here, relocated families of informal settlers have rebuilt their lives anew and productively. They have new homes with gardens and livelihood to boot! Vegetation, of course, is a distinct possibility, with its accompanying herbal products. However, there are other creative pursuits like making of throw pillows with catchy names of vegetables, for instance. As always, the limit is just set by the mind.

This GK project disproves claims of informal settlers that they will go hungry in relocation far from Manila. They just have to feed on their hard work, discipline, community spirit and resiliency.

DisGrace of Family

Grace Kelly was indeed the Grace of Monaco. Looked down upon as a commoner daughter of a bricklayer though bigtime contractor from Pennsylvania, she learned French and other niceties of royalty. She also proved herself more loyal than her royal sister-in-law who was outlawed for cavorting politically with the French wrongman Charles de Gaulle.

Happens to the best of families! as often witnessed in mediation.

House of Mediation

In the animated movie "House of Magic",  there were so many mediatable cases. The main character-old magician was being bullied out of his house and into a nursing home, by a realtoro-nephew.  Thunder, the lost cat adopted by the magician, got pestered by the old man's old timer pet rabbit and white mouse. The latter, of course, has a longstanding feud with Thunder's species. In the end, everybody does his bit to save the old man from his mean kin. Mediation at work!

Fight Yourself

Mar Roxas had commented that he was not worried about his electoral chances vs. B-inay because the Filipino voters are intelligent. Feeling alluded to, Jejo-mar vowed to continue P-noy's fight against corruption. He who is now accused of such!

In mediation, beware of such idle claims from persons of interest. Interesting but empty, self-serving, contradictory!

Unlearning Helplessness

Inquirer columnist and UP Chancellor Michael L. Tan wrote of South African hero Mandela as the 16th Man of their 15-man union rugby team, whom he nurtured to most unlikely championship. Mr. Tan contrasted this positive passion with our very own Senator Santiago's reference to most Filipinos as "stupid." The latter could be another cause of our nation's "learned helplessness," or feeling hesitation in the face of challenges for fear of failure/ridicule. Witness the reluctance to answer in class or raise a question in a conference. No matter how right or valid. I'll take Grace anytime Poe!

Mediation is on the side Mandela. It develops both winners-winners in settlement of their own conflict.

Typhoon Tierra

We marked the first anniversary of ST (super typhoon) Queen Yolanda with another typhoon! When God handed them out, why did we elbow other nations in line? Did we mistake it for one at the US embassy or just at the MRT?

Our courts likewise are in a state of justice change, or at least should be.  There is already a deluge of cases, flooding of the courts, and a landslide of complaints of delays, postponements and corruption.  Mediation is the judicial Greenpeace.

Exodus to an Atheist

Ridley Scott's take on Moses is more military than Cecile B. de Mille's. Take it from an atheist. However, he also focuses on the sibling rivalry between Moses and Ramses, adding humanity to the warfare.

Or the reason for it! Mediation has seen so many Moses-Ramses!

Naked Proposal

Whenever the  APO fraternity makes its birthday suit- run in UP, I shudder at the possibility my eldest son could have participated init during his Fine Arts Visual Communications day. (Thankfully, though, he is an American citizen and can't vote for Brod Binay.) This year, there was an added attraction- one member chose to propose to his girlfriend!

Mediation likewise seeks the naked truth. No frills, too. Just real, to the core.

He's Back!

Like in Elm Street, ex-chummy of Binay, Mercado is back, dreadfully from a shopping expedition on the former's holdings abroad. However, Mercado insists he just visited his ailing wife while the Senate focused on the national budget.

Watch out for paranoia of guilty parties in mediation. They are afraid of their own really dark shadows and give themselves away, like fish hooked by the mouth. They make mediators' tasks easier, if not more interesting.

Mocking J-as tiis

Monday and Tuesday are cine ma and pa senior citizens day. This week, Mocking Jay was among the choices. For two hours of air-conditioned entertainment, why not? And it did not fail to provide additional insights, too. In the future, human values of family and animal welfare are still intact. Love, too, with good and bad implications. What was also consoling was the President's declaration that compromise is needed for progress. Of course, she was an upright leader!

Compromise is already available to people in conflict at present. All they have to do is approach the mediation table.

Here Comes the Judged

Nancy Binay is always around and inquisitorial when others are being investigated-except her father. However, she and sister Abigail come with Tius, Anthony with Abigail allegedly in SunChamp, and Simeon of Peerless Lion Corporation supposedly with Nancy in a Milky Way restaurant, says a Sunday Inquirer columnist. Out of this world!

If you live in an investi-gated house, don't throw tough questions.  They usually come back like a freezebi-nay!

Egging on (Eggshells)

A year after Yolanda, a prominent tv personality was practically pushing a town mayor to froth at the mouth and charge at his nemesis. Totoo lang!

The mediator, on the other hand, precisely removes the froth from the mouth of disputants to prevent them from charging at each other.

Face Off (Anger)

Mas-erratic episode is churning out more tales of woe. Drivers are coming out of the woodwork to add their charges against the embattled traffic constable.

A can of worms can likewise be opened during mediation. It is up to the mediator which can be used as bait for the fishing expedition toward the truth.

Court(ing) Danger

Just like exes meeting unexpectedly, court litigants Vhong Navarro and Cedric Lee met recently at a social gathering. Awkward!

Wouldn't have been so if 1) they had not been in that violent encounter in the first place, and 2) they had undergone mediation successfully.