Ranch 24

"Yoghurt is to ice cream as Canada is to the US."

Ranch 23

"Done house-hunting. Not right if I can't shoot at one in the end." 

Ranch 22

"When was the last time you flew?"

"The fall of Vietnam."

Ranch 21

"Who builds an Arby's across a hospital?"

Ranch 20

"Baby-on-board referred to the driver."

Ranch 19

"You make me want to be a better badass."

Ranch 18

"They're operating on my heart, why do I have to take off my pants?"

Ranch 17

"The good news, they found out he has a heart."

Ranch 16

"Better to have a difficult conversation than none at all."

Ranch 15

"World War II was the only excuse for Americans to go to France."

Ranch 14

"If I see you when I wake up, I know I didn't die."

Ranch 13

"Am keeping my distance."

"By court order?"

Ranch 12

"I feel you're making a mistake."

"Also what your mother said in our wedding toast."

Ranch 11

"The more you drink, the better I sound."

Ranch 9

"Am all ears. (wearing a Mickey Mouse cap) "

Ranch 8

"Environmentalists- can't believe I'm being bought by the same people I admire."

Ranch 7

"Maybe I can be Nana. No, sounds like an old goat."

Ranch 6

"What's with all the blondes? Is it Vikings Day?"

Ranch 5

"She's got a gun and not afraid of prison. I'm terrified."

Ranch 4

"1st, I disagree. 2nd, you're wrong."